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Some people think that there should be more focus on disease prevention. These people believe that money needs to be spent on public education about preventable diseases such as diabetes, rather than on curing people who already have these diseases.

Some people think that there should be more focus on disease prevention. These people believe that money needs to be spent on public education about preventable diseases such as diabetes, rather than on curing people who already have these diseases. kLe7d
Major diseases are increasing and quality of life is decreasing nowadays. I believe that prevention is better than cure. I strongly agree that governments should spend money and time to promote preventable diseases, instead of spending money on curing people who have to suffer these diseases. Firstly terminal illnesses, like cancer, renal disease, delirium this cannot be cured by only medicines. However, all these terminal illnesses can be preventable, if they take care of themselves from maintaining healthy habits. Secondly, to treat and manage these terminal diseases have the cost of treatment is very high. Despite, people using insurance and med save, they still do not have enough money to take treatment. Many clients unable to manage diseases are hospitalized frequently. Coming to the prevention of diseases, many people were educated in this modern world, so that easy to educate everybody on how to prevent diseases. The government should spend the money to advertise healthy eating habits, management of stress, diseases caused by drinking alcohol, and smoking. Many major diseases are caused by long-term diseases, for example, diabetes and hypertension. The government should conduct free health camps at least twice a year to check people and give health education on how to manage diabetes, hypertension. So that people can manage their health at home and also can prevent major diseases caused by them. To sum up, I totally agree that government should spend money on advertising on how to prevent illness than cure terminal illness.
Major
diseases
are increasing and quality of life is decreasing nowadays. I believe that prevention is better than cure. I
strongly
agree
that
governments
should spend
money
and time to promote preventable
diseases
,
instead
of spending
money
on curing
people
who
have to
suffer these diseases.

Firstly
terminal
illnesses
, like cancer, renal
disease
, delirium this cannot
be cured
by
only
medicines.
However
, all these
terminal
illnesses
can be preventable, if they take care of themselves from maintaining healthy habits.
Secondly
, to treat and
manage
these
terminal
diseases
have the cost of treatment is
very
high. Despite,
people
using insurance and med save, they
still
do not have
enough
money
to take treatment.
Many
clients unable to
manage
diseases
are hospitalized
frequently
.

Coming to the prevention of
diseases
,
many
people
were educated
in this modern world,
so
that easy to educate everybody on how to
prevent
diseases
. The
government
should spend the
money
to advertise healthy eating habits, management of
stress
,
diseases
caused by drinking alcohol, and smoking.
Many
major
diseases
are caused
by long-term
diseases
,
for example
, diabetes and hypertension. The
government
should conduct free health camps at least twice a year to
check
people
and give health education on how to
manage
diabetes, hypertension.
So
that
people
can
manage
their health at home and
also
can
prevent
major
diseases
caused by them.

To sum up, I
totally
agree
that
government
should spend
money
on advertising on how to
prevent
illness
than cure
terminal
illness
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that there should be more focus on disease prevention. These people believe that money needs to be spent on public education about preventable diseases such as diabetes, rather than on curing people who already have these diseases.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
245 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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