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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of the most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. Discuss both the views and give your opinion.

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of the most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities. bjjQ
It is nowadays argued whether teenagers` life period is happier than adults` one. Despite all the existing difficulties in the lives of grown-ups, I personally think their life to be better, as there is more spare time and freedom of choices that adults might have, compared to youngsters. There is folk wisdom that a person should enjoy youth time because it is the most important and interesting part of one`s life. Possibly, it is a period of first love, true friendship or some essential studies during which knowledge is gained. However, I cannot claim that it is an easy part of living. Looking at recent concerns of teens, most of them are deeply plunged into learning processes and study a lot in order to pass an exam, enter the university or college and secure a prosperous future. Thus, teens work hard and have not much time left for relaxing or entertaining and being truly happy. In comparison, adults are those people who have already obtained a certain social status in the community. Most people of the mature age have an accomplished degree and a permanent job. Having a steady life position, people spend more time on themselves and their desires, choosing what they really want to do, like starting travelling, for instance. Moreover, grown-ups are more financially secured for the implementation of their wishes. In conclusion, there are different views on the opinion about the happiest time period in people`s life. While somebody suggests it is the teenage years to be the most intense and joyful, I stick to the belief that adults` life is happier because they can allow themselves to live life to the fullest.
It is nowadays argued whether
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
period is happier than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults`
one. Despite all the existing difficulties in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of grown-ups, I
personally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to be better, as there is more spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and freedom of choices that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
might have, compared to youngsters.

There is folk wisdom that a person should enjoy youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
and interesting part of
The character between 'one' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "one’s" (curly apostrophe) or "one's" (straight apostrophe).
one`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Possibly
, it is a period of
first
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
, true friendship or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
essential studies during which knowledge
is gained
.
However
, I cannot claim that it is an easy part of living. Looking at recent concerns of teens, most of them are
deeply
plunged into learning processes and study a lot in order to pass an exam, enter the university or college and secure a prosperous future.
Thus
, teens work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
and have not much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
for relaxing or entertaining and being
truly
happy.

In comparison
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults
are those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who have already obtained a certain social status in the community. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
of the mature age have an accomplished degree and a permanent job. Having a steady
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
position,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on themselves and their desires, choosing what they
really
want to do, like starting travelling,
for instance
.
Moreover
, grown-ups are more
financially
secured for the implementation of their wishes.

In conclusion
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views on the opinion about the happiest
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
period in
The character between 'people' and 's' is an accent character, not a standard apostrophe character. Use "people’s" (curly apostrophe) or "people's" (straight apostrophe).
people`s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. While somebody suggests it is the teenage years to be the most intense and joyful, I stick to the belief that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
adults`
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is happier
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
themselves to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
to the fullest.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of the most people's life. Others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibilities.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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