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It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Do the advantages of having a year off outweigh the disadvantages?

It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Do the advantages of having a year off outweigh the disadvantages? xqqQ
These days, there is an increasing number of students taking a gap year. While some people oppose having a year off after finishing high school due to its disadvantage, I firmly believe that the pros prevail over the cons. There are many reasons why people object to taking a gap year. The first thing that should be mentioned is that students can fall behind their friends. Taking a year off to do what they want may make them forget what they learned. Therefore, when coming back to study, in addition to learning new things, students have to take a lot of time to revise the old ones, whereas, their friends have passed on it. Secondly, taking a gap year costs a large amount of money by wasting on vacations. That can lead to their work hard to make ends meet when the year off is over. In contrast, I am of the opinion that these benefits far outweigh the downsides. One of the biggest advantages of taking a gap year is that it is a good time for students to travel or self-study to learn new things. Through traveling, especially visiting foreign countries, students can get access to a wide range of fantasies like brand-new culture, longstanding tradition, and mythical taboos. That broadens their knowledge with no longer holding prejudge to others’ different cultures and traditions. Another key point is that students can improve vital skills for their future jobs through reality experience. In fact, students can spend their gap years working or taking part in social activities such as raising funds and volunteering. In this way, students can impress their prospective employers based on their experience and abilities to work effectively get the highest productivity. In addition, they can expand their social network by making more friends, who may become their potential business partners. In conclusion, despite some negative aspects, it seems to me that the benefits of a gap year are more significant for the reasons mentioned.
These days, there is an increasing number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
oppose having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off after finishing high school due to its disadvantage, I
firmly
believe that the pros prevail over the cons.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
object to taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
. The
first
thing that should
be mentioned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can fall behind their friends. Taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off to do what they want may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them forget what they learned.
Therefore
, when coming back to study,
in addition
to learning new things,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to revise the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones, whereas, their friends have passed on it.
Secondly
, taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
costs a large amount of money by wasting on vacations. That can lead to their work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
ends
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
when the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off is over.

In contrast
, I am of the opinion that these benefits far outweigh the downsides. One of the biggest advantages of taking a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
is that it is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
time for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to travel or self-study to learn new things. Through traveling,
especially
visiting foreign countries,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
access to a wide range of fantasies like brand-new culture, longstanding tradition, and mythical taboos. That broadens their knowledge with no longer holding prejudge to others’
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
cultures and traditions.

Another key point is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
vital
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
for their future jobs through reality experience. In fact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can spend their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
years working or taking part in social activities such as raising funds and volunteering. In this way,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can impress their prospective employers based on their experience and abilities to work
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the highest productivity.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
addition, they can expand their social network by making more friends, who may become their potential business partners.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
conclusion, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
aspects, it seems to me that the benefits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
are more significant for the reasons mentioned.
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IELTS essay It is becoming increasingly popular to have a year off between finishing school and going to university. Do the advantages of having a year off outweigh the disadvantages?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
329 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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