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Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives.others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion dy72

Good evening to all. Today we will discuss about human being happiness. Now a days everyone busy in the world, such a time all are required some relief to overcome the stress. so everyone planned to plan some vocational trip once a month or twice. doctors also advised to make some fun enjoyment things with our family and friends circle. spending the time for the activities like boating, swimming and shopping, etc. Another important way for human happiness as taking deep sleep. At present most of the people's addicted in mobilephone, we must to avoid to use the mobile phone in loger time, Even small child also fully engaged in tab and mobile devices. It will mainly affected the eye and leads to major problems in his life.

This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :beneficialproduct
Good
 evening to all. This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :this day and agenowadays
Today
 we will Did you mean simply "discuss human"? You do not need the word "about" here.discuss human
discuss about human
 being happiness. Did you mean "nowadays"?Nowadays
Now a days
 everyone busy in the world, such a time all are required
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 relief to overcome the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :accentuate
stress
. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterSo
so
 everyone planned to plan This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 vocational trip once a month or twice. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterDoctors
doctors
also
 advised to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
 fun enjoyment things with our family and friends circle. This sentence does not start with an uppercase letterSpending
spending
 the time for the activities like boating, swimming and shopping, etc. Another This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 way for human happiness as taking deep sleep. At present most of the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
's addicted in Possible spelling mistake found.mobile phone
mobilephone
, we After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.musthave to
must to
 avoid to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :exploit
use
 the mobile phone in Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "logger", the comparative form of the adjective 'log'?loggerlongerlowerRogerloverloser
loger
 time, Even This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:tiny
small
 child also
fully
 engaged in tab and mobile devices. It will mainly
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "affect"affect
affected
 the eye and leads to major problems in his life. 

IELTS essay Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people lives. others think that adult life brings more happiness in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Essay

American English

1 paragraphs

128 words

This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1

4.0

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
?
One main idea per paragraph
Include an introduction and conclusion
Support main points with an explanation and then an example
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Vary your linking phrases using synonyms

Lexical Resource: 5.5

Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes

Grammatical Range: 6.5

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
Check your writing for errors

Task Achievement: 5.0

Answer all parts of the question
?
Present relevant ideas
Fully explain these ideas
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

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