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Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday will be healthier and happier.However,many elderly suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness.Discuss the cause and solutions?

Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solutions? r7RN
Nowadays, many experts told that grey haired people can be healtheir and happier by spending quality of time time with others and do regular workout. While many older people suffering from isolation and obesity. . There are a number of reasons and solutions can be taken to tackle the above problem On the one hand, , there are many reasons regarding above problem. Firstly, there is generation gap between older and young onces. For exmple, young generation generally use smart gadgets like smart phone and older people do not know about any modern technology. On the contrary, gap between two generation are increasing. Secondly, there were lack of infrastructure for older onces such as parks, gardens and sports grounds. it will lead to health ailments like obesity. Moreover, there were a lack of awereness in older people about diseases. For example, 50% of grey haired people do not know about health issues as accoirding to research in 2017 in China. finally, older people child and grandchildern are workacholic and give less quality of time to olders. As a result of alienation. On the other hand, there are there main solutions can be taken to solve the problem. young people should spend time with their grandparents. So it will reduce the generation gap between both age groups. Futhermore, government should make parks, gardens and open gym to older people because private gym are usally have exorbitant fee, as they can not pay. Apart from that, grandchildern should play games with their grandparents as it will help them to remain fit and happy and it will also reduce burden from government expenditure on their ailments In encapsulate, many people say that old people can fit and happy by spending ample of time with others and do exercise on daily bases. However, many elder people suffer from solitude and lack of fitness. there are numerous reasons and solutions can be taken tacke the problem
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
experts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
that
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
haired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
healtheir
and happier by spending quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with others and do regular workout. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffering from isolation and obesity.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
There are a number of reasons and solutions can
be taken
to tackle the above
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problem


On the one hand,
Two consecutive commas
,
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons regarding above problem.
Firstly
, there is generation gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
and young
Possible spelling mistake found.
onces
. For
Possible spelling mistake found.
exmple
, young generation
generally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
smart gadgets like smart phone and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know about any modern technology.
On the contrary
, gap between two generation are increasing.
Secondly
, there were lack of infrastructure for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
Possible spelling mistake found.
onces
such as parks, gardens and sports grounds.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
will lead to health ailments like obesity.
Moreover
, there were a lack of
Possible spelling mistake found.
awereness
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
about diseases.
For example
, 50% of
Possible spelling mistake. 'grey' is British English.
grey
haired
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not know about health issues as
Possible spelling mistake found.
accoirding
to research in 2017 in China.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
child and
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandchildern
are
Possible spelling mistake found.
workacholic
and give less quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
olders
.
As a result
of alienation.

On the other hand
,
Adverb repetition. Please, verify.
there are there
main solutions can
be taken
to solve the problem.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their grandparents.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the generation gap between both age groups.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Futhermore
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
parks, gardens and open gym to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
private gym are
Possible spelling mistake found.
usally
have exorbitant fee, as they can not pay. Apart from that,
Possible spelling mistake found.
grandchildern
should play games with their grandparents as it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to remain fit and happy and it will
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
burden from
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
expenditure on their
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
ailments


In encapsulate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can fit and happy by spending ample of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with others and do exercise on daily bases.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from solitude and lack of fitness.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
there
are numerous reasons and solutions can
be taken
Possible spelling mistake found.
tacke
the
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
problem
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IELTS essay Experts say if the old people spend time and get along with others and exercise everyday will be healthier and happier. However, many elderly suffering from loneliness and lack of fitness. Discuss the cause and solutions?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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