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Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development? 1qlW
In the current world, people rely on the internet a lot for their day to day activities like buying groceries to do banking. Due to this trend, knowing or unknowingly people post a lot of personal information online while signing up on social networking sites or registering for online banking services. In my opinion, this is not a good practice and has many serious negative impacts. This essay delineates various reasons and facts to support my view. As the internet becomes part of people's life more, apparently the amount of personal data users put in on the web is also growing. First of all, while signing up online many people do not really care about the company's data security and usage policies subsequently, they type in every information requested. Another common trend these days is people posting personal information in social networking sites to draw attention from the public. For instance, even though Facebook's security policy clearly defines do's and dont's about data sharing the general public does not really respect those clauses and act careless. This reckless behaviour of internet users paves way for many illegal online businesses to gain profit and thus nuturing negative developments. To begin with, companies getting access to personal information and using the same for promoting unwanted products. Adding to that, with information such as date of birth or family name hackers can easily crack passwords for banking accounts which allows them to do online frauds easily. Finally, accessing pictures available online without the owner's permission can also led to very serious issues. To conclude, internet users should be well aware about the threat that can happen by sharing too much personal data on the web. Goverment authorities are taking very good actions these days by implementing laws like GDPR to protect personal information. Considering all this, posting too much personal information on the web is a negative trend and could be a disaster.
In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rely on the internet a lot for their
It appears that two hyphens are missing.
day to day
activities like buying groceries to
The usual collocation for an activity ending in "-ing" is "go" not "do" or "play." Revise: "go banking".
do banking
. Due to this trend, knowing or
unknowingly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
post
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
while signing up on social networking sites or registering for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
banking services. In my opinion, this is not a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
practice and has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
serious
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts. This essay delineates various reasons and facts to support my view.

As the internet becomes part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's life more,
apparently
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
users put in on the web is
also
growing.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, while signing up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not
really
care about the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
security and usage policies
subsequently
, they type in every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
requested. Another common trend these days is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
posting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
in social networking sites to draw attention from the public.
For instance
,
even though
Facebook's security policy
clearly
defines
Do not use 's with a verb. Did you mean "does"?
do's
and
Did you mean "don't"?
dont'
s about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
sharing the
Consider using "public".
general public
does not
really
respect those clauses and act careless.

This reckless
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
of internet users paves way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
businesses to gain profit and
thus
Possible spelling mistake found.
nuturing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
developments. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
getting access to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and using the same for promoting unwanted products. Adding to that, with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as date of birth or family name hackers can
easily
crack passwords for banking accounts which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
them to do
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
frauds
easily
.
Finally
, accessing pictures available
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
without the owner's permission can
also
The verb 'can' requires the base form of the verb: "lead"
led
to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious issues.

To conclude
, internet users should be well aware about the threat that can happen by sharing too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
on the web.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Goverment
authorities are taking
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
actions these days by implementing laws like GDPR to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Considering all this, posting too much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the web is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
trend and could be a disaster.

IELTS essay Many people put their personal information online (address, telephone number, and so on) for purposes such as signing up for social networks or online banking. Is this a positive or negative development?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
320 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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