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Some people think that the technology makes life complex, So we should make life simpler without using technology. Do you agree or disagree

Some people think that the technology makes life complex, So we should make life simpler without using technology. LXMK
In this contemporary era, automation has improved significantly and it makes our soul easier than ever before. However, some masses believe that machinery has made people's life complex. To solve this problem people should avoid using machinery. I have several reasons to disagree with this view and the following paragraphs will discuss about how automation helps people's life easier. To begin with, technology advancement is mandatory for every human life. For the past few decades people are not aware about why happening around the world it was due to lack of automation. But it is accessable now. For example, elderly citizen were felt loneliness and complex before. However, due to the help of the machinery like cellphone older people can connect there family or friends who are far from them. It help their life become easier and comfortable. In addition to this, technology helps each and every individual to simplify their life. Secondly, people are tremendously love to explore developed countries and this is possible only where the nation mainly focus on machinery. If the particular authority is not promoting the technology the it will affect the nation's growth. For instance, China is technological advanced nation. But there is some province are struggling to leave because of less technology advances. Furthermore, communication is easier than ever before. It is also a good example for people's life is simplified with the help of machinery. To recapitulate, to make life simple there is no need to avoid technology. People are the one who grow according to the changes of this present scenario.
In this contemporary era, automation has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
significantly
and it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
our soul
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
masses believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
has made
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
complex. To solve this problem
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should avoid using
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
. I have several reasons to disagree with this view and the following paragraphs will
Did you mean simply "discuss how"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about how
automation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advancement is mandatory for every human
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
. For the past few decades
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are not aware about why happening around the world it was due to lack of automation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
it is
Possible spelling mistake found.
accessable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
For example
, elderly citizen
were felt
loneliness and complex
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.
However
, due to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
like cellphone older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect there family or friends who are far from them. It
Did you mean "helps"?
help
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
and comfortable.
In addition
to this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
each and every individual to simplify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
tremendously
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
to explore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
and this is possible
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
where the nation
mainly
focus on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
.
“If” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
If
the particular authority is not promoting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
Possible typo. Did you mean "the" or "it"?
the it
will affect the nation's growth.
For instance
, China is technological advanced nation.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "provinces"?
province
are struggling to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
advances.
Furthermore
, communication is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
easier
than ever
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. It is
also
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
is simplified
with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
machinery
. To recapitulate, to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
simple there is no need to avoid
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are the one who grow according to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
of this present scenario.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the technology makes life complex, So we should make life simpler without using technology.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
260 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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