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Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. To what extent is globalisation a positive or negative development?

Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial. GnYQ
The reasons that make globalization so successful also have some drawbacks. As we discussed earlier, that travel has become so easy so if some disease pops up in one country then it's impossible to control these diseases to move to other countries just like coronavirus. It started in China and now the whole world is suffering from the pandemic. Globalization resulted in the great exchange between cultures but somehow popular cultures are dominating local languages and cultures just like nowadays everyone wants to learn English instead of their local languages because learning the English language provides better employment prospect for the individual. One more drawback of globalization is that Industrial resources have moved from developed countries to third world countries resulting in pollution and global warming in those countries.
The reasons that
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make
globalization
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so
successful
also
have
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some
drawbacks. As we discussed earlier, that travel has become
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so
easy
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so
if
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some
disease pops up in one
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country
then it's impossible to control these diseases to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to other
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countries
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like coronavirus. It
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
started
in China and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
the whole world is suffering from the pandemic. Globalization resulted in the great exchange between cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
somehow popular cultures are dominating local languages and cultures
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like nowadays everyone wants to learn English
instead
of their local languages
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
learning the English language provides better employment prospect for the individual. One more drawback of globalization is that Industrial resources have
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
moved
from developed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
resulting in pollution and global warming in those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.

IELTS essay Most people accept that we now live in a globalised world but not everyone agrees that this is beneficial.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
129 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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