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Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured? e5RwV
Money is a main thing in our life, and people used to judge everything with money, it does not matter what it is. For example, your success or your level of life. Also because of this business companies judge someone else's success by the amount of money, like anglers anglers compare who has the most catch. However the amount of people thinks that money is not an indicator of success and I think they are right. Because there are a lot of other ways to measure success in business. Of course I can not say that money is not a gauge of success, it is an indicator too, but a true measure is people who work for this business, who like working on this business, who support this business and this company really helps people. Another way to measure success it is fame and popularity of the company. If a business has fame, then there will be undoubtedly money. Also, the last way to gauge business it is worldwide recognition, it is similar to fame but much better. In conclusion, i want to say that there are a large number of indicators of success, but each one determines which measure suits them.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Money
is a main thing in our life, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to judge everything with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, it does not matter what it is.
For example
, your
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
or your level of life.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
because of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
judge someone else's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
by the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, like
Possible typo: you repeated a word
anglers anglers
compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
has the most catch.

Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not an indicator of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
and I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
they are right.
“Because” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
other ways to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in business.

Of
The comma is probably missing here: "course, I".
course I
can not say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is not a gauge of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
, it is an indicator too,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
a true
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
work for this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
like working on this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
support this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Another way to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
it is fame and popularity of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
has fame, then there will be
undoubtedly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Also
, the last way to gauge
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
it is worldwide recognition, it is similar to fame
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
much better.

In conclusion
,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
want to say that there are
Specify a number, remove phrase, or simply use "many" or "numerous"
a large number of
indicators of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
each one determines which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
measure
suits them.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the only way to judge someone’s success in business is by the amount of money they make. Is money a true indicator of the success of a business? In what other ways could success in a business be measured?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
202 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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