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One issue that has caused a great deal of controversy over the years is the allocation of defence and social benefits in the government budget. It has been suggested that the government should spend more on defence in order to ensure the safety of citizens, while cutting back from the social benefits of citizens. While this is a supported opinion, I side with the people who argue otherwise. Perhaps the major reason why some people request more funding for defence is that they want their country to have a strong military presence in its region. If one country has a powerful military, it would gain respect of its neighbouring countries and, as a result, be the leader of the region. This advantage, of course, would also lead to more beneficial terms in international agreements. Another compelling reason for the increase in defence budget is the fear of terrorism. Many countries nowadays face serious threats and even experience major terrorist attacks to the big cities. Some people argue

One issue that has caused a great deal of controversy over the years is the allocation of defence and social benefits in the government budget. It has been suggested that the government should spend more on defence in order to ensure the safety of citizens, while cutting back from the social benefits of citizens. While this is a supported opinion, I side with the people who argue otherwise. Perhaps the major reason why some people request more funding for defence is that they want their country to have a strong military presence in its region. If one country has a powerful military, it would gain respect of its neighbouring countries and, as a result, be the leader of the region. This advantage, of course, would also lead to more beneficial terms in international agreements. Another compelling reason for the increase in defence budget is the fear of terrorism. Many countries nowadays face serious threats and even experience major terrorist attacks to the big cities. Some people argue XGVoq
One issue that has caused a great deal of controversy over the years is the allocation of defence and social benefits in the government budget. It has been suggested that the government should spend more on defence in order to ensure the safety of citizens, while cutting back from the social benefits of citizens. While this is a supported opinion, I side with the people who argue otherwise. Perhaps the major reason why some people request more funding for defence is that they want their country to have a strong military presence in its region. If one country has a powerful military, it would gain respect of its neighbouring countries and, as a result, be the leader of the region. This advantage, of course, would also lead to more beneficial terms in international agreements. Another compelling reason for the increase in defence budget is the fear of terrorism. Many countries nowadays face serious threats and even experience major terrorist attacks to the big cities. Some people argue that increasing police force would threaten the terrorist organisations, and perhaps catch them before the attack. There are, however, equally strong arguments against spending less on social benefits. Perhaps the greatest one of these is the importance of healthcare. It is unquestionable that every citizen should be entitled to get the treatment and medicine that they need. If the authorities do not provide adequate resources for healthcare, underprivileged members of the society would not be able to receive any treatment. This issue affects not only the underprivileged, but also the middle class citizens. If the healthcare spending is decreased, the life-saving operations and treatments would cost enough to cause a bankruptcy. Another related negative outcome is the decrease in assistance to those in need. If the government cuts the resources of unemployed people, it would lead to bigger problems such as homelessness, theft and increase in other crimes. People should be able to receive help in order to get back on their feet, find a job and eventually support themselves. If needy people get the adequate support such as job centres and financials, it is less likely that they become a threat to the society. This situation, of course, helps the fight against crime and drug use, and support the safety of citizens. To conclude, it is clear that this is a complex issue and there are many arguments on both sides. My opinion is that, while defence is a serious matter; if the leaders of a country want to ensure the health and safety of the citizens, the importance of social benefits definitely outweighs the importance of defence
One issue that has caused a great deal of controversy over the years is the allocation of
defence
and
social
benefits
in the
government
budget. It has
been suggested
that the
government
should spend more on
defence
in order to ensure the safety of
citizens
, while cutting back from the
social
benefits
of
citizens
. While this is a supported opinion, I side with the
people
who argue
otherwise
.

Perhaps the major reason why
some
people
request more funding for
defence
is that they want their
country
to have a strong military presence in its region. If one
country
has a powerful military, it would gain respect of its
neighbouring
countries
and,
as a result
, be the leader of the region. This advantage,
of course
, would
also
lead to more beneficial terms in international agreements. Another compelling reason for the increase in
defence
budget is the fear of terrorism.
Many
countries
nowadays face serious threats and even experience major terrorist attacks to the
big
cities.
Some
people
argue that increasing police force would threaten the terrorist
organisations
, and perhaps catch them
before
the attack.

There are,
however
,
equally
strong arguments against spending less on
social
benefits
. Perhaps the greatest one of these is the importance of healthcare. It is unquestionable that every
citizen
should
be entitled
to
get
the treatment and medicine that they need. If the authorities do not provide adequate resources for healthcare, underprivileged members of the society would not be able to receive any treatment. This issue affects not
only
the underprivileged,
but
also
the middle
class
citizens
. If the healthcare spending
is decreased
, the life-saving operations and treatments would cost
enough
to cause a bankruptcy.

Another related
negative
outcome is the decrease in assistance to those in need. If the
government
cuts
the resources of unemployed
people
, it would lead to bigger problems such as homelessness, theft and increase in other crimes.
People
should be able to receive
help
in order to
get
back on their feet, find a job and
eventually
support themselves. If needy
people
get
the adequate support such as job
centres
and financials, it is less likely that they become a threat to the society. This situation,
of course
,
helps
the fight against crime and drug
use
, and support the safety of citizens.

To conclude
, it is
clear
that this is a complex issue and there are
many
arguments on both sides. My opinion is that, while
defence
is a serious matter; if the leaders of a
country
want to ensure the health and safety of the
citizens
, the importance of
social
benefits
definitely outweighs the importance of
defence
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IELTS essay One issue that has caused a great deal of controversy over the years is the allocation of defence and social benefits in the government budget. It has been suggested that the government should spend more on defence in order to ensure the safety of citizens, while cutting back from the social benefits of citizens. While this is a supported opinion, I side with the people who argue otherwise. Perhaps the major reason why some people request more funding for defence is that they want their country to have a strong military presence in its region. If one country has a powerful military, it would gain respect of its neighbouring countries and, as a result, be the leader of the region. This advantage, of course, would also lead to more beneficial terms in international agreements. Another compelling reason for the increase in defence budget is the fear of terrorism. Many countries nowadays face serious threats and even experience major terrorist attacks to the big cities. Some people argue

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
435 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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