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Some people think that the increase of cheap air travel has brought many benefits while travel others argue that this develpment has its drawbacks to the world’s encironment and resources. Discuss these two points of view. Whats your opinion?

Some people think that the increase of cheap air travel has brought many benefits while travel others argue that this develpment has its drawbacks to the world’s encironment and resources. Discuss these two points of view. Whats your opinion? Jo3Ow
It is true that with the emergency of many economic air travel today, travelling has becoming easier. Nevertheless, it has brought many benifit to the country and also to the people interms of economy, social or other welfare purposes. However, with the development of these air travel, many environment and other natural resources have to be sacrifice for this purposes. This essay intent to share some of the reason. In the oldern days, it is probably only the rich people are able to travel by plane. With the successful development of cheap air travel such as “Air Asia”, many business people have shift into this area of business and thus bringing many advantages to the people. Firstly by opening air travel business, this company need to hire more worker such as pilot, cabin crew, marketing, chef etc and therefore providing more job opportunity for the people. Secondly, not only the rich, the poor or the middle class people are now able to travel with the affordable air fares. In this way, by allowing more people to travel to other countries and more visitors to come, this means that there will be more trading to take place thus, improving the economic of a country. Finally, it is by travelling that perhaps people can learn about other’s culture and way of life, and therefore help one to enrich their knowledge and opportunity. Contrary, there are drawbacks that this business can cause especially to the environment. Firstly, in order to produce a plane, few natural resources are needed such as titanium, wood, nickle etc. Not only that, petrol that derive from crude oil is needed to operate the plane to be able to fly. Next, when the plane begin to fly, it will emits hot smoke from the exhaust fumes which eventualy will make the temperature of the environment to increase and inturn will cause global warming. Finally, when more air travel starting to develop, there will be more airport needed to be build and this means to say there will be more trees needed to be cut down to make the landline and more animals will lost their habitat. In conclusion, there are convincing arguments how the emergence of air travel could bring benifits to the people. However in my opinion, in order to reduce the drawbacks that it can cause to the environment, goverment should monitor and limit the development of this businesses.
It is true that with the emergency of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
economic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, travelling has becoming easier.
Nevertheless
, it has brought
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifit
to the country and
also
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
interms
of economy, social or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
welfare purposes.
However
, with the development of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
natural resources
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be sacrifice for
Did you mean "these"?
this
purposes. This essay intent to share
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
reason.

In the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oldern
days, it is
probably
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the rich
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
. With the successful development of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
such as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
“Air
Asia”,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have shift into this area of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
thus
bringing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Firstly
by opening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
need to hire
Use only "worker" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more worker
such as pilot, cabin crew, marketing, chef etc and
therefore
providing more job opportunity for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Secondly
, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
the rich, the poor or the middle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
able to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
with the affordable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
fares. In this way, by allowing more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries and more visitors to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
, this means that there will be more trading to take place
thus
, improving the economic of a country.
Finally
, it is by travelling that perhaps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can learn about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
culture and way of life, and
therefore
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
one to enrich their knowledge and opportunity.

Contrary, there are drawbacks that this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
can cause
especially
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
.
Firstly
, in order to produce a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
, few natural resources are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
such as titanium, wood, nickle etc. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
that, petrol that derive from crude oil is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to operate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
to be able to
fly
.
Next
, when the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
to
fly
, it will
The verb 'will' requires the base form of the verb: "emit"
emits
hot smoke from the exhaust fumes which
Possible spelling mistake found.
eventualy
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the temperature of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
to increase and
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
will cause global warming.
Finally
, when more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
starting to develop, there will be more airport
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to be build and this means to say there will be more trees
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needed
to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the landline and more animals will lost their habitat.

In conclusion
, there are convincing arguments how the emergence of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
could bring
Possible spelling mistake found.
benifits
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
However
in my opinion, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the drawbacks that it can cause to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environment
,
Possible spelling mistake found.
goverment
should monitor and limit the development of
Did you mean "these"?
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the increase of cheap air travel has brought many benefits while travel others argue that this develpment has its drawbacks to the world’s encironment and resources. Discuss these two points of view. Whats your opinion?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
402 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people think that the increase of cheap air travel has brought many benefits while travel others argue that this develpment has its drawbacks to the world’s encironment and resources. Discuss these two points of view. Whats your opinion?