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Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent else where. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent else where. rl6N
Some people argue that the government should stop funding for the arts because this money could be spent in other ways. We are all aware that the amount of money the government spend to support artists and the arts is significantly high. But can we claim that this is a waste? Knowing that people suffer from hunger or poor hygiene and expensive health services, make us think that the government can spend the country's wealth on more serious subjects. For example on health sector or education system. While arts seem like an object of luxury and are not of essential needs of life. On the other hand, we cannot say that supporting arts is a waste of wealth. It is beyond doubt that artworks can inspirit the society and improve people mentally People with healthier minds are less likely to undergo illness or commit crimes. If we accept that the government is responsible to spend on improving our mental health, we must accept that one way lays through supporting art. Secondly, artists and piece of arts are known to have significant impact on the society. Artists play a key role in changing trends. We all remember how we felt after we watched 12 Years a Slave; Artworks can effectively influence people in order to start or join a political or social movement for good changes. Thirdly, in the past, artists relied on wealthy people to support them financially. If the government stops its support, artists might lose their career or join political movements which are against the country's development programs. Fourthly, art is not a consumer of wealth; since there are several art activities which can bring income to a country. For example, movie or book festivals can absorbs so many tourists to a country. Some governments organize regular festivals in order to strengthen their country's tourism industry. In conclusion, I bieleve that spending on the arts is not equal to wasting money. et government can apply mixed funding models with individuals to support the arts and artists.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
funding for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this money could
be spent
in other ways. We are all aware that the amount of money the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
spend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is
significantly
high.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
can we claim that this is a waste? Knowing that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
suffer from hunger or poor hygiene and expensive health services,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
us
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can spend the country's wealth on more serious subjects.
For example
on health sector or education system. While
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
seem like an object of luxury and are not of essential needs of life.
On the other hand
, we cannot say that supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is a waste of wealth. It is beyond doubt that artworks can inspirit the society and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
mentally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
with healthier minds are less likely to undergo illness or commit crimes. If we accept that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible to spend on improving our mental health, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
accept that one way lays through supporting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
and piece of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
are known
to have significant impact on the society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Artists
play a key role in changing trends. We all remember how we felt after we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watched
12 Years a Slave; Artworks can
effectively
influence
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a political or social movement for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
.
Thirdly
, in the past,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
relied on wealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
them
financially
. If the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
might lose their career or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
political movements which are against the country's development programs.
Fourthly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is not a consumer of wealth; since there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
activities which can bring income to a country.
For example
, movie or book festivals can absorbs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
tourists to a country.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
organize regular festivals in order to strengthen their country's tourism industry.
In conclusion
, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
bieleve
that spending on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
is not equal to wasting money.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
et
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can apply mixed funding models with individuals to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
.

IELTS essay Some people think that the government is wasting money on the arts and that this money could be better spent else where.

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
338 words
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
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