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Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Discuss both the views and give your own opinion.

Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree. Wj8k
When we apply for jobs, some employers requests personal information of the candidate as an enquiry. some people may think it as the part of job processing but others think as irrelevant. In my opinion we can share the essential details which is required for the job. There are different types of jobs, some jobs may not require confidential data. so we should be careful while sharing the data to the employer. The creative kind of jobs needs to know the creativity level of the candidate, so they will focus on that side of a person moreover job category plays a prominent role. Usually employers are trying to obtain more information from the person in order to understand the attitude of the individual to check whether this person fits for the job or not. On the other hand, most people don't want to share personal information because of the possibility of misusing. Fraud people is taking advantage of the people who were desperate to find job, which inturn reduced the reliabilty of the trusted employer. There are some people like to keep their personal information such as age, salary and so on as confidential. In my opinion, We should share the data to the employer which is relevant to the job, if the employer insists we can share the data during personal interview in order to reduce the risk level through phone calls, mails and so on. we need to be careful in identifying the fraud and reliable job offers.
When we apply for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
requests
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
of the candidate as an
Possible spelling mistake. 'enquiry' is British English.
enquiry
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it as the part of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
processing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
as irrelevant. In my opinion we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the essential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
which
is required
for the job.

There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
may not require confidential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
we should be careful while sharing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
. The creative kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
needs to know the creativity level of the candidate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they will focus on that side of a person
moreover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
category plays a prominent role.
Usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employers
are trying to obtain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
from the person in order to understand the attitude of the individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
whether this person fits for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.

On the other hand
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
don't want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the possibility of misusing. Fraud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
taking advantage of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who were desperate to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, which
Possible spelling mistake found.
inturn
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduced
the
Possible spelling mistake found.
reliabilty
of the trusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
like to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
such as age, salary and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on as confidential.

In my opinion, We should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
which is relevant to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employer
insists we can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
share
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
data
during
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personal
interview in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
level through phone calls, mails and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on. we need to be careful in identifying the fraud and reliable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
offers.
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IELTS essay Employers sometimes ask people applying for jobs for personal information, such as their hobbies and interests, and whether they are married or single. Some people say that this information may be relevant and useful, others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
250 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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