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Some people think that the best way to teach their children is to compare them with the others. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give any relevant example if necessary. You should write at least 250 words.

Some people think that the best way to teach their children is to compare them with the others. Give any relevant example if necessary. EqVGL
It is argued that children is compared with others is the perfect way to teach them. As for as I am concerned, I completely disagree with statement and my reasons will be explained in the following paragraphs. It is transparently obvious to see that compare children with the others will be less confident and successful in their own life. Firstly, they do not believe themselves and cannot develop to become what they wish for. Parents tend to compared children to inspire them and lead them follow the safety path which they choose, this might be explained by the fact that parents want all the best things for their children but what they do is not necessary. Children easily get under pressure due to the expectation and can cause some tragic accidents which the reason is from their parents. Secondly, children those who was compared can be prevent their imaginations and creatives. To explain this, they cannot thinking of their own or giving any bright ideas to help themselves in daily life, require the assistant from their parents is what they think when they come across the problems or giving unfashionable ideas. Instead of helping them to find way, some parents compare them with the others to elucidated that they are not similar to someone or not as good as anyone. For instance, children living in the family which compare them usually lost the ability to solve the problems by themselves and get stressful if they cannot find perfect way. However, parents those who always support and inspire them achieve what they want and willing choose their own path on their life, they are more successful and confident than anyone. In conclusion, for the reasons which were mentioned above, I strongly believe that adults should not compare their own kids with the others. Children should be encourage to become the person they love and admire, not from the one who they are forced to become.
It
is argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is compared
with others is the perfect way to teach them. As for as I
am concerned
, I completely disagree with statement and my reasons will be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
in the following paragraphs.

It is
transparently
obvious to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with the others will be less confident and successful in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
life.
Firstly
, they do not believe themselves and cannot develop to become what they wish for.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
tend to compared
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to inspire them and lead them follow the safety path which they choose, this might be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explained
by the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want all the best things for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
what they do is not necessary.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
under pressure due to the expectation and can cause
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tragic accidents which the reason is from their parents.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
those who
was compared
can be
Consider using the past participle "prevented"?
prevent
their imaginations and creatives. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
this, they cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "think"
thinking
of their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
or giving any bright
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
themselves in daily life, require the assistant from their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
is what they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
when they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
across the problems or giving unfashionable
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
Instead
of
In informal texts, 'to' is not necessary. Do you mean "helping them find"?
helping them to find
way,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
them with the others to elucidated that they are not similar to someone or not as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
as anyone.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
living in the family which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
them
usually
lost the ability to solve the problems by themselves and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
stressful if they cannot find perfect way.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
those who always support and inspire them achieve what they want and willing choose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
path on their life, they are more successful and confident than anyone.

In conclusion
, for the reasons which
were mentioned
above, I
strongly
believe that adults should not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
compare
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
kids with the others.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
should be
Consider using the past participle "encouraged"?
encourage
to become the person they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
and admire, not from the one who they
are forced
to become.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to teach their children is to compare them with the others. Give any relevant example if necessary.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
324 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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