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Some paper hire servants for domestic chores such as cleaning washing and cooking why the others do not like to depend on servants and believe in doing their household work on their own according to you which option is better and why

Some paper hire servants for domestic chores such as cleaning washing and cooking why the others do not like to depend on servants and believe in doing their household work on their own according to you which option is better and why N3PJg
Every person has to work in his life. Therefore, work is a very important part of every person's life. Now the issue is that whether a person should hire servants or do his domesticc chores on his own. It is a very complicated and controversial debate, so before reaching any conclusion, I would like to analyse the merits and demerits of both options. There are a myriad of advantages of having a servant, First and foremost, a person can concentrate properly on his office work as he does not have to do household work. Secondly it gives an opportunity to women to start their own business. For example, they can run shops, boutiques, parlours, etc. On the negative side, there are also some drawbacks of hiring a servant. Firstly, a servant may not work as the employer wants. Moreover, in big cities, it is very common that servants murder householders and rob them. Also the cost of hiring servants is very high. On the flip side, there are some obvious benefits of a person doing his work on his own. First of all, there is co-operation among the family members as they all help each other in completing the work. ln addition, it saves money as a person does not have to pay any money to a servant. Apart from this, all family members become responsible regarding their domestic duties. Lastly, doing domestic work keeps a person healthy. However, the main drawback of doing one's work on one's own is that it is difficult for a person to complete work on time. Secondly, he feels very tired and bored following the same routine. To wind up the discussion, I would like to say that different people have different priorities and their own ways of thinking, so there can be no option which is perfect for everyone. In this case also, both options have their merits and demerits, so it is extremely difficult to support or oppose either of the two. But still, I personally feel that doing one's domestic work on one's own is a slightly better option as it appears to have more benefits.
Every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in his life.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of every person's life.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Now
the issue is that whether a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servants
or do his
Possible spelling mistake found.
domesticc
chores on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. It is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
complicated and controversial debate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
reaching any conclusion, I would like to
Possible spelling mistake. 'analyse' is British English.
analyse
the merits and demerits of both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
. There are a
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "myriads"?
myriad
of advantages of having a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servant
,
First
and foremost, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can concentrate
properly
on his office
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as he does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
do household
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
Secondly
it gives an opportunity to women to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
business.
For example
, they can run shops, boutiques,
Possible spelling mistake found.
parlours
, etc. On the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
side, there are
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
drawbacks of hiring a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servant
.
Firstly
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servant
may not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as the employer wants.
Moreover
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
cities, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servants
murder householders and rob them.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
the cost of hiring
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servants
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high. On the flip side, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
obvious benefits of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, there is co-operation among the family members as they all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other in completing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
ln
addition, it saves money as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay any money to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
servant
. Apart from this, all family members become responsible regarding their domestic duties.
Lastly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
healthy.
However
, the main drawback of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is that it is difficult for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
to complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on time.
Secondly
, he feels
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
tired and bored following the same routine. To wind up the discussion, I would like to say that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
priorities and their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ways of thinking,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
there can be no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
which is perfect for everyone.
In this case
also
, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
options
have their merits and demerits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it is
extremely
difficult to support or oppose either of the two.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
still
, I
personally
feel that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
doing
one's domestic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
on one's
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
is a
slightly
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
option
as it appears to have more benefits.
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IELTS essay Some paper hire servants for domestic chores such as cleaning washing and cooking why the others do not like to depend on servants and believe in doing their household work on their own according to you which option is better and why

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
355 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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