Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.Discuss both views and give your own opinion .

Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree. 85MoP
These days, traffic jams have become a big problem in many communities and transforming parks and gardens into residential areas is the best way to solve commuting problems, but some people oppose such an idea. My view leans more in the direction that land near to centres should be made available for apartments. Green spaces occupy a large area around our busy commercial and businesses and have grown in number over a long period of time, but some believe that if we construct new apartments near the main business hubs instead of leaving them as recreational grounds. For instance, workers would use less time commuting to work from distant residential areas. In addition, it would also allow professionals to easily walk a few minutes to their workplaces. Therefore, cars would reduce in numbers and ease would congestion. Furthermore, it can be argued that city centres are not perfect locations for parks, because of the hectic activity that surrounds them and those who work in the vicinity have little or no time to benefit from them. There are, however, other people who hold different views and are not convinced by removing leisure areas form the heart of a town, or city would not be helpful. Their main consideration is the price of the land in looking at major cities around the world. For example, London, Tokyo and even Beijing provide clear evidence that building apartments in busy centres are likely to attract very high prices which most commuters could not afford to buy. Hence, such a policy would not the change current situation. In conclusion, relocating parks and gardens may offer a reduction in people's daily commute, despite some doubts about whether it works or not, but both sides have valid concerns about the present situation. However, on the whole I would favour building moderately priced residential apartments rather than open spaces intended for leisure.
These days, traffic jams have become a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities and transforming parks and gardens into residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
is the best way to solve commuting problems,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
oppose such an
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. My view leans more in the direction that land near to
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
should
be made
available for apartments.

Green spaces occupy a large
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
area
around our busy commercial and businesses and have grown in number over a long period of time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that if we construct new apartments near the main business hubs
instead
of leaving them as recreational grounds.
For instance
, workers would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
less time commuting to work from distant residential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
.
In addition
, it would
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
professionals to
easily
walk a few minutes to their workplaces.
Therefore
, cars would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
in numbers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
would congestion.
Furthermore
, it can
be argued
that city
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are not perfect locations for parks,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the hectic activity that surrounds them and those who work in the vicinity have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no time to benefit from them.

There are,
however
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who hold
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
views and are not convinced by removing leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
areas
form the heart of a town, or city would not be helpful. Their main consideration is the price of the land in looking at major cities around the world.
For example
, London, Tokyo and even Beijing provide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
evidence that building apartments in busy
Possible spelling mistake. 'centres' is British English.
centres
are likely to attract
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high prices which most commuters could not afford to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
Hence
, such a policy would not the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
situation.

In conclusion
, relocating parks and gardens may offer a reduction in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's daily commute, despite
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
doubts about whether it works or not,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
both sides have valid concerns about the present situation.
However
,
on the whole
I would
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
building
moderately
priced residential apartments
rather
than open spaces intended for leisure.

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
314 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that the best way to reduce time spent in traveling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters, but others disagree.Discuss both views and give your own opinion .