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Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions.

Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions. wBPAn
While a lot of people consider that the true purpose of education is to help an individual to get skills to serve the needs of society, others believe that education ought to help to achieve personal goals. In my opinion, as far as education is chosen individually, it has to help people to achieve their own ambitions. On the one hand, it is often believed that all citizens ought to serve national interests foremost. For these people, the proper education should help people with obtaining socially useful skills and knowledge. Hence, it will be advantageous for a country. Furthermore, if everyone did choose from the specialisations that would help to become more successful and wealthy, society would face problems with filling important but not highly-paid vacancies. For instance, despite a nurse is not the most highly paid job, but one of the most admired and needed for society. Finally, many crucially important occupations do not require a degree at all, while their contribution to the economy is colossal. On the other hand, other people think that education should help to achieve personal ambitions because it often takes a lot of efforts and money to become a well-educated professional. Thus, these investments have to be recouped later by helping a person to achieve his life goals. Moreover, it can be claimed that if a person achieves his goals, society will benefit as well. For example, despite Steve Jobs was driven by his ambitions, he has built a great company, that pays an enormous amount of taxes. Personally, I fully support this viewpoint. In conclusion, while people may vary in their opinions, I firmly believe that the appropriate purpose of education is to help people achieve their goals.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
consider that the true purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
an individual to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
to serve the needs of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
, others believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
ought to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
. In my opinion, as far as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is chosen
individually
, it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
ambitions.

On the one hand, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
believed that all citizens ought to serve national interests foremost. For these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, the proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with obtaining
socially
useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
and knowledge.
Hence
, it will be advantageous for a country.
Furthermore
, if everyone did choose from the
Possible spelling mistake. 'specialisations' is British English.
specialisations
that would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to become more successful and wealthy,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
would face problems with filling
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not
highly
-paid vacancies.
For instance
, despite a nurse is not the most
highly
paid job,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
one of the most admired and needed for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
.
Finally
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
crucially
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
occupations do not require a degree at all, while their contribution to the economy is colossal.

On the other hand
, other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
personal ambitions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
takes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
efforts and money to become a well-educated professional.
Thus
, these investments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be recouped
later by helping a person to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
his life
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
Moreover
, it can
be claimed
that if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieves
his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
will benefit
as well
.
For example
, despite Steve Jobs
was driven
by his ambitions, he has built a great
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
, that pays an enormous amount of taxes.
Personally
, I
fully
support this viewpoint.

In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may vary in their opinions, I
firmly
believe that the appropriate purpose of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
achieve
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goals
.
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IELTS essay Some people say that the purpose of education is to prepare individuals to be useful to society. Others say its purpose is to prepare individuals to achieve personal ambitions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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