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some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C.V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately.

some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C. V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately. OVPm7
it is better that education in university be executive in an even situation for both boys and girls. In all science fields. In my opinion, it is the best decision that both male and female gender be permitted to enter the university with the same shares for every position because of encouraging toward purpose and brain operating diversity. In the other word, science isn't related to sexuality, but it is linked with interest, potentiate and capacity. Firstly, differentiation among students, which is not connected to academia, reduce the motivation and opportunity. Decreased hope make them feel depression, so that stop dreams and efforts. Secondly, with justified competition that is standard happiness grow up student fighting to be their best version in science. Finally, balance condition helps young researchers to focus on their investment in stead of struggle for their normal laws. On the other hand, brain in men works different than woman. It is beneficial to use of two different system which operates completely and generates new thesis. It means analysis information by two separated methods produce novel ideas. For example, Mary Curie and her husband had worked with each other in a chemistry laboratory and both of them could receive atomic exploration in radioactive and strange features. Also, it is said Entitein's wife had helped him in discovery of relative rules, although her name is hidden in his articles. In conclusion, students must be allowed to show their ability in education by the same fortune. Not only by concentrating on scientific achievements they will boost academic levels, but also they don't need thinking about what is their discrepancy.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is better that education in university be executive in an even situation for both boys and girls. In all science fields. In my opinion, it is the best decision that both male and female gender
be permitted
to enter the university with the same shares for every position
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of encouraging toward purpose and brain operating diversity.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
In
the other word, science isn't related to sexuality,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it
is linked
with interest, potentiate and capacity.
Firstly
, differentiation among students, which is not connected to academia,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the motivation and opportunity. Decreased hope
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them feel depression,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
dreams and efforts.
Secondly
, with justified competition
that is
standard happiness grow up student fighting to be their best version in science.
Finally
, balance condition
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
young researchers to focus on their investment
Did you mean "instead of"?
in stead of
struggle for their normal laws.

On the other hand
, brain in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
men
works
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Did you mean 'different "from"? 'Different than' is often considered colloquial style.
than
woman. It is beneficial to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
system which operates completely and generates new thesis. It means analysis information by two separated methods produce novel
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
.
For example
, Mary Curie and her husband had worked with each other in a chemistry laboratory and both of them could receive atomic exploration in radioactive and strange features.
Also
, it
is said
Possible spelling mistake found.
Entitein
's wife had
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helped
him in discovery of relative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
, although her name
is hidden
in his articles.

In conclusion
, students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
their ability in education by the same fortune. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by concentrating on scientific achievements they will boost academic levels,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they don't need thinking about what is their discrepancy.
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IELTS essay some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C. V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • some people think the university should admit boys and girls with equality of opportunity in all courses. In my opinion, the university is an elitism environment and needs to choose the best ones to do research and have a high quality of performance. So, I disagree to focus on election basis on gender. The committee must select C.V that has merits. In other words, they should assess pupil's application according to research interest, educational experience, effort, and ability. But, any selection despite mentioned factors causes feeble efficiency in the long term. It is the reason that top universities around the world try to give admission after a survey accurately.