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Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. with this statement? g5b0g
Nowadays, people travel from suburbs to city for work and the time spending on commute has been increased from past years. While there are some arguments in replacing the park and garden in the city center with apartment buildings, I totally disagree with this opinion and the commute time can be deducted in several ways. On the one hand, city parks and gardens play a vital role in both the environment and urban culture. It's doubtless that afforestation can improve the living condition and provide a relaxing spot for all the residents living around. Without the parks, workers may feel depressed when they can only see the "concrete jungles". Meanwhile, parks can be the landmark of the city and bring economic benefit. For instance, Central Park is in the center of New York Manhattan. It appeals to a lot of tourists from worldwide to visit it every year. People who work in Manhattan can take exercise or admire the scenery for different seasons in Central Park. On the other hand, I think there are other ways to tackle the problem. First and foremost, with the development of technology, people can work from home and perform the same functionality as they work in the office. This could save tons of commute time and people can take more exercise. Secondly, government and train operating companies can set more express lines for people who live outside of the city. It can hugely cut down the traveling time by stopping in fewer stops. Thirdly, companies can move away from the city center and hire employees from local places. In this way, it would not only benefit the local economy and provide employment, but also reduce the commute time for local residents. In conclusion, parks and gardens serve an indispensable role in the city environment. Government and companies can take actions to improve the commute situation.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
travel from suburbs to city for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spending on commute has
been increased
from past years. While there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
arguments in replacing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
park
and garden in the city center with apartment buildings, I
totally
disagree with this opinion and the commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
can
be deducted
in several ways.

On the one hand, city
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens play a vital role in both the environment and urban culture. It's doubtless that afforestation can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the living condition and provide a relaxing spot for all the residents living around. Without the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
, workers may feel depressed when they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
concrete jungles
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
. Meanwhile,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
can be the landmark of the city and bring economic benefit.
For instance
, Central
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Park
is in the center of New York Manhattan. It appeals to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
tourists from worldwide to visit it every year.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in Manhattan can take exercise or admire the scenery for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
seasons in Central Park.

On the other hand
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
there are other ways to tackle the problem.
First
and foremost, with the development of technology,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
from home and perform the same functionality as they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
in the office. This could save tons of commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can take more exercise.
Secondly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
and train operating
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can set more express lines for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "outside".
outside of
the city. It can
hugely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down the traveling
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
by stopping in fewer
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stops
.
Thirdly
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
away from the city center and hire employees from local places. In this way, it would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit the local economy and provide employment,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the commute
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for local residents.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and gardens serve an indispensable role in the city environment.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Government
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can take actions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the commute situation.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce the time spent in travelling to work is to replace parks and gardens close to the city center with apartment buildings for commuters. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
311 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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