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Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some would argue that long-term penalizing is necessary to lessen offense ratio while others say that there are some alternative methods to decrease wrongdoings. Although strengthening punishment time is a mechanism to bring down crime proportions, I believe that lessening down crimes by using diverse methods, other than this, can be more fruitful. On the one hand, numerous people think that the criminal should be in jail for a longer period, so this will bring fear to a person’s mind. In other words, if a person thinks about crime, he already knows that punishment is going to be too long; he will not do any criminal activity. For example, in some countries to a punishment for a crime is a life-time by knowing this anyone can think twice before involving in a part of a crime. However, there are some better ways too to resolve this issue. On the other hand, I believe that there are some other ways too to reduce criminals, for example, by educating and increasing employment opportunities. By education, they can get good jobs, and by this, they remain busy in their work. Moreover, they can set goals for their future, so hardly anyone can think about avail any illegal means to satisfy themselves. For instance, education is free in many developed nations, and there are many business opportunities, so most of the people get jobs after their education; that’s why, those countries are counted in the list of peaceful countries. Therefore, I believe that this is better option. In conclusion, despite the validity of long-time punishments, people can become admirable citizens after getting an education and career for life.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
would argue that long-term penalizing is necessary to lessen offense ratio while others say that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
alternative methods to decrease wrongdoings. Although strengthening
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
time is a mechanism to bring down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
proportions, I believe that lessening down
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by using diverse methods,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
than this, can be more fruitful.

On the one hand, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
that the criminal should be in jail for a longer period,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
this will bring fear to a person’s mind. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, if a person
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
thinks
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
, he already knows that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is going to be too long; he will not do any criminal activity.
For example
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
countries to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is a life-time by knowing this anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
twice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
involving in a part of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
.
However
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
better ways too to resolve this issue.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, I believe that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
ways too to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
criminals,
for example
, by educating and increasing employment opportunities. By
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs, and by this, they remain busy in their work.
Moreover
, they can set goals for their future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
hardly anyone can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
about avail any illegal means to satisfy themselves.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
is free in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
developed nations, and there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
business opportunities,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
jobs after their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
; that’s why, those countries
are counted
in the list of peaceful countries.
Therefore
, I believe that this is better option.

In conclusion
, despite the validity of long-time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can become admirable citizens after getting an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and career for life.
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IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative ways of reducing crime.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
274 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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  • Meet the criteria
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