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Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss Both views and give your opinion.

Without a doubt that the advertisement plays a vital role in our daily life, especially shopping. To convince customers and help companies increase profits and success. However, other people believe that their functions do not affected them anymore. This essay will discuss both point of views and demonstrate my argument. On the one hand, many companies invested a huge money to advertising because this is a source of earning. So, they created the advertisement not only in the shopping center and they are expanding to the internet which is give the customers more informations and persuade them to buy. For example, when you are surfing the internet, you will spot a lot of advertising and mag click on that to purchase if you interested. On the other hand, the advertisement will appear all the time when you access to the social media. Therefore, it is accidentally bother you and bring to you the feeling of uncomfortable. Last but not least, advertisement also stimulates the people buy some kind of things that we do not really need and wasted a lot of money. For instance, I had 10 hoodies already but I still buy one more when I see the clothes advertising on the website. To sum up, while there are some benefits of the advertisement, I still agree with those who think that advertisement does not leave the long-term impression and also it is really common.
Without a doubt that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
plays a vital role in our daily life,
especially
shopping. To convince customers and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
increase profits and success.
However
, other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that their functions do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
them anymore. This essay will discuss both point of views and demonstrate my argument.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
invested
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply “huge money”.
a huge money
to advertising
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this is a source of earning.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, they created the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in the shopping
Use a comma before ‘and’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
center and
they are expanding to the internet which is give the customers more
The word ‘informations’ is a legal term. In standard English, the word ‘information’ is a non-count noun.
informations
and persuade them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
.
For example
, when you are surfing the internet, you will spot
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
advertising and mag click on that to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
if you interested.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
will appear all the time when you access to the social media.
Therefore
, it is
accidentally
bother you and bring to you the feeling of uncomfortable. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
also
stimulates the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
kind of things that we do not
really
need and wasted
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money.
For instance
, I had 10 hoodies already
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
one more when I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the clothes advertising on the website.

To sum up, while there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with those who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
does not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
the long-term impression and
also
it is
really
common.
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IELTS essay Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
236 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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