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Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.4

Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. v. 4
It is said that raising the lowest legal age for driving a car or riding a motorbike is the most effective way to prevent accidents. While I agree that driving age rise makes a significant contribution to reducing road accidents, I believe that other factors are equally important. On the one hand, I agree that increasing the minimum driving age would decrease deaths and injuries. Youngsters tend to break the rules and get involved in accidents because of the lack of responsibility, maturity and experience. Therefore, the older they are, the more experience they gain. Clearly, older drivers find a solution to dangerous and unpredicted situations more quickly while driving than younger ones. If a person crosses the road suddenly, for example, younger drivers might be frightened and panic, older drivers might brake or turn the steering wheel instead. To sum up, I approve of the increase in driving age. Nevertheless, I believe that there are better measures to maintaining road safety. Firstly, the government should encourage commuters to use public transports instead of private ones in order to reduce the level of traffic. Secondly, traffic polices should fine commuters heavily or forfeit their driving license if they break the law. As a result, drivers are likely to obey the law and car accidents decrease. Finally, the authorities should invest more money in improving transportation infrastructures with a view to creating better conditions for drivers. In conclusion, while raising driving age certainly affects the number of car crashes, I do not believe that it outweighs all other measures.
It
is said
that raising the lowest legal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
a car or riding a motorbike is the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
. While I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
rise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
a significant contribution to reducing road
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
, I believe that other factors are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

On the one hand, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that increasing the minimum
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
would decrease deaths and injuries. Youngsters tend to break the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the lack of responsibility, maturity and experience.
Therefore
, the older they are, the more experience they gain.
Clearly
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
find a solution to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
unpredicted
situations more
quickly
while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
than younger ones. If a person crosses the road
suddenly
,
for example
, younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
might
be frightened
and panic, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
might brake or turn the steering wheel
instead
. To sum up, I approve of the increase in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
age.

Nevertheless
, I believe that there are better measures to maintaining road safety.
Firstly
, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
should encourage commuters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
public transports
instead
of private ones in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the level of traffic.
Secondly
, traffic polices should fine commuters
heavily
or forfeit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
license if they break the law.
As a result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
drivers
are likely to obey the law and car
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
accidents
decrease.
Finally
, the authorities should invest more money in improving transportation infrastructures with a view to creating better conditions for drivers.

In conclusion
, while raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
driving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
age
certainly
affects the number of car crashes, I do not believe that it outweighs all other measures.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Language is to the mind more than light is to the eye.
William Gibson

IELTS essay Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. v. 4

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
258 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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