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Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.2

Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. v. 2
A society where we live in always demand ideal lives without any sort of crime or ill habits involved. Individuals involved in any kind of crime are not accepted by us as a community. Firstly, many of us wants the criminals to be handled in the most harsh way like longer prison sentences with the main thing in mind that criminals cannot be changed and should be separated from the society. While others are against it, they think that the no one is involved in such crimes by intensions, there are always certain circumstances which allow them to commit such. I will try to discuss both these points in the latter part of the essay. Crimes are majorly categorised by their means of affecting the society that how severe the crime is. Prison sentences are always recommended for crimes which are in no sense involved in the betterment of society and in fact are dangerous for the existence of human life. Crimes such as rape, murder are the ones which are considered to be treated as the most disturbing and the elements involved should be separated from the society, because they are not going to change and therefore, could not be excused in any way. While other small crimes like robbery, burglary are treated as minor crimes and the punishments are accordingly. Various crimes where children are involved should be treated with utmost care because they can hamper their future and maybe the crimes are committed without any criminal intentions rather than treating them in a bad way. In most of the foreign countries such minor crimes are treated with this full caution like giving punishments which can benefit the society, especially involved in helping aged or children by giving them services in old age homes and orphanages. To sum up, I would say that, In my opinion, society should treat each crime with its severity and always try to do something which is beneficial not only for one or two sections of the society, but the society as a whole. Apart from longer punishments there are many ways a crime can be handled that we need to explore and followed.
A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
where we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in always demand ideal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
without any sort of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
or ill habits involved. Individuals involved in any kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
by us as a community.
Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of us wants the criminals to
be handled
in
This adjective uses the short comparatives form.
the most harsh
way like longer prison sentences with the main thing in mind that criminals cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
and should
be separated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
. While others are against it, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the no one
is involved
in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
by
Possible spelling mistake found.
intensions
, there are always certain circumstances which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
them to commit such. I will try to discuss both these points in the latter part of the essay.

Crimes are
majorly
Possible spelling mistake. 'categorised' is British English.
categorised
by their means of affecting the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
that how severe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
is. Prison sentences are always recommended for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
which are in no sense involved in the betterment of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
and in fact are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
for the existence of human life.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Crimes
such as rape, murder are the ones which
are considered
to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
as the most disturbing and the elements involved should
be separated
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they are not going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
and
therefore
, could not
be excused
in any way.

While other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
like robbery, burglary are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
as minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
and the punishments are
accordingly
. Various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
where children
are involved
should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
with utmost care
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they can hamper their future and maybe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are committed
without any criminal intentions
rather
than treating them in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
way. In most of the foreign countries such minor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crimes
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treated
with this full caution like giving punishments which can benefit the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
especially
involved in helping aged or children by giving them services in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
age homes and orphanages.

To sum up, I would say that, In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
should treat each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
with its severity and always try to do something which is beneficial not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
for one or two sections of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole. Apart from longer punishments there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
can
be handled
that we need to explore and followed.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
26Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes
The limits of my language mean the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay Some people think that the best wat to reduce crime is to give longer prison sentences. Others, however, believe there are better alternative wats or reducing crime. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
361 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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