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Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it positive or negative? v.2

Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it positive or negative? v. 2
It is true that nowadays, a considerable number of individuals have a tendency to spend their money instead of saving it. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having a significant impact on both family life and on the community as a whole. There are two important factors behind this phenomenon. Firstly, I would argue that the pressure to keep up with the rising standard of living in a society can make people spend all their incomes. With the development of technology and the growth of the economy, life has become more sophisticated and requires effort from each individual to adapt to this situation. For instance, every year a new iPhone model comes on the market, and many people buy it because they believe theirs is an old and outdated version. Thus, many people tend to spend their money on buying expensive items that they do not really need. Secondly, the phenomenon of shopaholism has become a common feature in many societies. It means people are addicted to shopping, and that prevents them from saving any money. In addition, advertising also contributes to encouraging people to spend more money than they intend. However, this tendency to spend all of one's money could have negative consequences for the individual and society as a whole. An important concern is when a person is faced with unexpected circumstances and they need money to deal with some difficulty. If that person does not have any savings, then they are in trouble. Not saving money for a rainy day may easily lead to poverty if a person has to deal with some financially demanding issue such as an illness, an accident, or unemployment. Additionally, saving money is a wise strategy for a person and their family to ensure future financial stability and independence. To sum up, the two main reasons for people to spend their money and not save it is the rising standard of living in many societies and addiction to shopping. However, that tendency to spend and not save can lead to financial difficulties and even poverty.
It is true that nowadays, a considerable number of individuals have a tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
it. There are a number of reasons for this trend, which is having a significant impact on both family life and on the community as a whole.

There are two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors behind this phenomenon.
Firstly
, I would argue that the pressure to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
up with the rising standard of living in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
all their incomes. With the development of technology and the growth of the economy, life has become more sophisticated and requires effort from each individual to adapt to this situation.
For instance
, every year a new iPhone model
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
on the market, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they believe theirs is an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and outdated version.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on buying expensive items that they do not
really
need.
Secondly
, the phenomenon of
Possible spelling mistake found.
shopaholism
has become a common feature in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
. It means
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are addicted
to shopping, and that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevents
them from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
In addition
, advertising
also
contributes to encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
than they intend.

However
, this tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
all of one's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
could have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
consequences for the individual and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
as a whole. An
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
concern is when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is faced
with unexpected
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
circumstances and
they need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
to deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
difficulty. If that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does not have any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
savings
, then they are in trouble. Not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
for a rainy day may
easily
lead to poverty if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
deal with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
financially
demanding issue such as an illness, an accident, or unemployment.
Additionally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is a wise strategy for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and their family to ensure future financial stability and independence.

To sum up, the two main reasons for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
and not save it is the rising standard of living in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and addiction to shopping.
However
, that tendency to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
and not save can lead to financial difficulties and even poverty.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The conquest of learning is achieved through the knowledge of languages.
Roger Bacon

IELTS essay Many people prefer to spend money and not save it. What are the reasons? Is it positive or negative? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
348 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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