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Some people think that the amount of noise people make have to be controlled strictly, others say that people are free to make as much as they wish. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.5

Some people think that the amount of noise people make have to be controlled strictly, others say that people are free to make as much as they wish. 5
In the contemporary world, opinions are divided as to whether making noise should be curbed or not. While some assert that it is acceptable for people to genrate noise freely, I believe that the amount of noise must be controlled at a tolerable level. On the one hand, there are some justifications why making noise freely should be allowed. First, generating noise is considered as a recreational activity that soothes people’s negative emotions induced in daily activities. In particular, one suffering from hardships in life can vent his anger by singing loudly to his music of choice on the karaoke. In this way, loud noise acts as a remedy that can relieve all the stress from the burden in life and revitalize human’s energy. Second, loud noise is a way to connect people with mutual affection for music. For example, every evening on Bui Vien street, HCMC citizens from all walks of life gather here to create various traditional pieces of music and exchange their experience in playing musical instruments. This means that even the love for folk songs is able to bridge the gap between people and make them become one a close-knit community. On the other hand, I believe that in most incidents, large amount of noise should be restricted. To begin with, the prevention of creating noise is a way to maintain residents’ health. In particular, people living near construction sites usually suffer from deafening sound of many building implements like diesel pile driver, anchor drilling machine and others. Therefore, if the government doesn’t take actions to curb the deafening and incessant noise from machines operating all day, people living in the residential areas near that construction site will suffer from hearing impairment and thus to deaf. Moreover, cacophony is regarded as a distracted element that reduces the productivity of workers. To be more specific, when artists or designers are working in an environment that is full of noise, they cannot fully concentrate on their tasks, which results in low-quality products. In conclusion, although making noise optionally is agreeable to some people, I think that loud noise should be restricted.
In the contemporary world, opinions
are divided
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether", or rephrase the sentence to avoid "as to".
as to whether
making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be curbed
or not. While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
assert that it is acceptable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
Possible spelling mistake found.
genrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
freely
, I believe that the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be controlled
at a tolerable level.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justifications why making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
freely
should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
.
First
, generating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is considered
as a recreational activity that soothes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions induced in daily activities.
In particular
, one suffering from hardships in life can vent his anger by singing
loudly
to his music of choice on the karaoke. In this way, loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
acts as a remedy that can relieve all the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
from the burden in life and revitalize human’s energy. Second, loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is a way to connect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with mutual affection for music.
For example
, every evening on
Possible spelling mistake found.
Bui
Possible spelling mistake found.
Vien
street,
Possible spelling mistake found.
HCMC
citizens from all walks of life gather here to create various traditional pieces of music and exchange their experience in playing musical instruments. This means that even the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
love
for folk songs is able to bridge the gap between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them become one a close-knit community.

On the other hand
, I believe that in most incidents, large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be restricted
. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the prevention of creating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
is a way to maintain residents’ health.
In particular
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living near construction sites
usually
suffer from deafening sound of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
building implements like diesel pile driver, anchor drilling machine
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
.
Therefore
, if the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
doesn’t take actions to curb the deafening and incessant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
from machines operating all day,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
living in the residential areas near that construction site will suffer from hearing impairment and
thus
to deaf.
Moreover
, cacophony
is regarded
as a distracted element that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the productivity of workers. To be more specific, when artists or designers are working in an environment
that is
full of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
, they cannot
fully
concentrate on their tasks, which results in low-quality products.

In conclusion
, although making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
optionally
is agreeable to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that loud
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
noise
should
be restricted
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
20Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the amount of noise people make have to be controlled strictly, others say that people are free to make as much as they wish. 5

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
353 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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