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Some people think that the aim of universities is helping graduates get better jobs. Others believe that there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views & give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that the aim of universities is helping graduates get better jobs. Others believe that there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 1
Nowadays, universities decide that the mission is to train students to have enough knowledge and success on applications for their jobs in the future. On the other hands, some people believe that universities provide so many benefits for both individuals and society. I will explain for my opinion about these statements. There are several reasons why teachers have to teach their students carefully and help them to have better jobs after they graduate from universities. Firstly, studying and qualification exactly affects students' future very much. There are important factors help a student have a better CV to applies for a good job and make them be accepted easily. Besides that, students should spend their time on hard-studying on their majors because practical knowledge and experience are very useful to work effectively in the future. Secondly, teachers have responsibilities for training their students to help them develop their skill on main majors. The aim is to impart knowledge and help students get practical and professional skills. After graduation, students can get better jobs and become qualified employees, motivate economical development of the world. In addition, qualification helps students a lot to get respects from their parents and neighbors. In spite of these statements, students should be provided with much wider benefits for both individuals and society. Soft skills are very important for students not only now, but also in the future. More and more companies need their employees should have teamwork skills and communication skills. It is absolutely that if students have self-study skills, they will complete their exam at universities. Furthermore, students can get their soft skills and practical experience through social activities and schools' activities. Overall, both views are very well. In my opinion, I prefer the education in which people believe that there are much wider benefits of universities for both individuals and society.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
decide that the mission is to train
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge and success on applications for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. On the other hands,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
provide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits for both individuals and society. I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
for my opinion about these statements.

There are several reasons why teachers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
teach their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
carefully
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them to have better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
after they graduate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Firstly
, studying and qualification exactly affects
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
much. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
factors
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
have a better CV to applies for a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
easily
.
Besides
that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should spend their time on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
-studying on their majors
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
practical knowledge and experience are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
useful to work
effectively
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
.
Secondly
, teachers have responsibilities for training their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
them develop their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
on main majors. The aim is to impart knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
practical and professional
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. After graduation,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
and become qualified employees, motivate
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
development of the world.
In addition
, qualification
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
helps
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
a lot to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
respects from their parents and neighbors.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
these statements,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
be provided
with much wider benefits for both individuals and society. Soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
future
. More and more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
need their employees should have teamwork
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
. It is
absolutely
that if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
have self-study
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, they will complete their exam at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
their soft
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and practical experience through social activities and
Possible spelling mistake found.
schools&
#039; activities.

Overall
, both views are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
well. In my opinion, I prefer the education in which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that there are much wider benefits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
for both individuals and society.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
38Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that the aim of universities is helping graduates get better jobs. Others believe that there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
306 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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