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some people think that students should play team sports more than individual sports

some people think that students should play team sports more than individual sports QwgEP
There is no doubt that these days schools provide numerous sport activate. The question is, It commonly believed that students should play less individual sports like running and swimming, In compare to team sports for example football and volleyball? In this essay i am going to discuss why people prefer group sports than personal sports. Some people think that, It is much more enjoyable for students to play in team. The main reason given to support this claim that, students can be more interesting in joining these kind of sports. To illustrate, Many student said the best why to have fun and make new friendship is by registration to team sports at the beginning of the academic year. In other world the can be more attractive to go to the school due to these types of activity. However, individual sports can also be effective. Firstly, swimming one of the best sports to practice through adulthood. In addition it helps in body health because the movement during swimming make your muscles stretch. Secondly, running commonly loved from the boys and they can join international competition if they are really good in it. Also most of the schools focus in individual sports because the can arrange a competitions between many different schools and this going to help in income of the school. In conclusion, although people prefer team sports while can make student not focusing in there study while trying to win against each other. I believe that individual sport far more enjoyable.
There is no doubt that these days
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
provide numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
activate. The question is, It
commonly
believed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should play less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
like running and swimming, In
The singular proper name 'In' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "compares", "compared".
compare
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
for example
football and volleyball? In this essay
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
am going to discuss why
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
than personal sports.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, It is much more enjoyable for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to play in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
. The main reason
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to support this claim that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be more interesting in joining
Did you mean "this kind" or "these kinds"?
these kind
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. To illustrate,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
said the best why to have fun and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
new friendship is by registration to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
at the beginning of the academic year. In other world
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
can be more attractive to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
due to these types of activity.

However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
can
also
be effective.
Firstly
, swimming one of the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
to practice through adulthood. In
The comma is probably missing here: "addition, it".
addition it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in body health
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the movement during swimming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
your muscles stretch.
Secondly
, running
commonly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
from the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
boys and
they can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
international competition if they are
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
in it.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "focus".
focus in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the can arrange
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a competition" or simply "competitions"?
a competitions
between
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
and this going to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
in income of the school.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
team
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
while can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
not focusing in there study while trying to win against each other. I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
individual
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
far more enjoyable.
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IELTS essay some people think that students should play team sports more than individual sports

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
251 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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