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people agree and disagree with gay marriage

people agree and disagree with gay marriage 6lWxl
While some people are opponent for the gay marriage, the vast majority of people still reluctant to this trend. Personally, I reckon that same-sex marriage has not to be legal under any situation because it's against our traditions and religions otherwise diseases would raise, and many society might extinct. Firstly, in spite of the fact that a category of people claims that it's acceptable in certain societies to have a gay marriage, I bet that all religions and traditions are against this habit. Once individuals live without caring holy rituals and instructions, their life will be meaningless. For instance, it's not impossible to have an increasing rate of crime in such community because there isn't any motive to suppress crime willingness. Moreover, due to the fact that many are still against this trend, enacting it would demolish the social relations between people. Since people would split into two denominations, they would not be able to deal with the other people because they consider their behavior disgusting. Secondly, even though the effects of this phenomenon on individuals are dangerous; however, the consequences of it on society are more sever. In the light of this, it's highly conceivable to face new generation of pandemics which stems from this kind of marriage; therefore, this imposes extra missions on governments which are responsible for medical system. Moreover, since the noble goal of the making a new family is to form a virtuous generation, gay-marriage demolishes this dogma. As pregnancy and maternity requires two different genders, freak marriage doesn't have this balanced relationship. Thus, many communities who are for this mentality would inevitably face extinction danger. In conclusion, although some people support the idea of odd marriage, many still object it. Personally, I believe that this norm has negative impact on societies and individuals, so I'm entirely against it.
While
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are opponent for the gay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, the vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
still
reluctant to this trend.
Personally
, I reckon that same-sex
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
has not to be legal under any situation
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
against our traditions and religions
otherwise
diseases would raise, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
might extinct.

Firstly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
in spite of
the fact that a category of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
claims that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
acceptable in certain
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
to have a gay
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
, I bet that all religions and traditions are against this habit. Once individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
without caring holy rituals and instructions, their life will be meaningless.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
not impossible to have an increasing rate of crime in such community
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there isn't any motive to suppress crime willingness.
Moreover
, due to the fact that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
are
still
against this trend, enacting it would demolish the social relations between
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
would split into two denominations, they would not be able to deal with the other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they consider their behavior disgusting.

Secondly
,
even though
the effects of this phenomenon on individuals are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
;
however
, the consequences of it on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
society
are more sever. In the light of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
it's
highly
conceivable to face new generation of pandemics which stems from this kind of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
;
therefore
, this imposes extra missions on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
which are responsible for medical system.
Moreover
, since the noble goal of the making a new family is to form a virtuous generation, gay-marriage demolishes this dogma. As pregnancy and maternity requires two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
genders, freak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
doesn't have this balanced relationship.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
communities who are for this mentality would
inevitably
face extinction
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
danger
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of odd
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
marriage
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
still
object it.
Personally
, I believe that this norm has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
societies
and individuals,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
I'm
entirely
against it.
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IELTS essay people agree and disagree with gay marriage

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
304 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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