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Some people think that sports helps developing society , Others think they sports are nothing than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and opinions

Some people think that sports helps developing society, Others think they sports are nothing than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and opinions G9BVg
These days, sports are the most famous among all age groups. Many people argue that the role of sports is significant for improving community, while others group of people believe that sport is only relaxation activity. In my opinion, I believe that playing sport is essential for the growth of society. On the one hand, there are different reasons why sports are nothing than a physical recreation. Initially, today, sport is leisure pastime for many members of society due to the fact sport is the best way to unwind. For instance, many people go to the gyms, fitness clubs, playgrounds with friends for entertainment and hang out with together. However, sport is not integral part of their life that is only recreational part. Finally, other type of people use of sport for other purposes which is escaping stress and refreshing mind and body after along hour of study or work. On the other hand, sport contributes to improvement of society such as economic and cultural shaping through various factors. For example, big sport competitions and tournaments attract whole world attention. Therefore, country full of with tourists and sport fans and this circumstances lead to financial income to fund of nation. Secondly, sport is vital element for enhancement of medical condition of the public, it helps to reduce the number of health problems such as overweight, high blood pressure and heart diseases. In conclusion, although, a number of people think that sports are nothing than a leisure activity, I personally believe that sport plays are major role in developing country and population health.
These days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
among all age groups.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
argue that the role of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
is significant for improving community, while others group of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
relaxation activity. In my opinion, I believe that playing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is essential for the growth of society.

On the one hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
reasons why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are nothing than a physical recreation.
Initially
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is leisure pastime for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
members of society due to the fact
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is the best way to unwind.
For instance
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to the gyms, fitness clubs, playgrounds with friends for entertainment and hang out with together.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is not integral part of their life
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recreational part.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
type of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
purposes which is escaping
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and refreshing mind and body after along hour of study or work.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
contributes to improvement of society such as economic and cultural shaping through various factors.
For example
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
competitions and tournaments attract whole world attention.
Therefore
, country full of with tourists and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
fans and this circumstances lead to financial income to fund of nation.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
is vital element for enhancement of medical condition of the public, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the number of health problems such as overweight, high blood pressure and heart diseases.

In conclusion
, although, a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
are nothing than a leisure activity, I
personally
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
plays are major role in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing country
and population health.
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IELTS essay Some people think that sports helps developing society, Others think they sports are nothing than a leisure activity. Discuss both views and opinions

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
262 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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