Search
Tools
Listening
Reading
1. Academic
2. General
Writing
1. IELTSWriting Checker
2. IELTS Writing Samples
Speaking

Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.11

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday parties and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v. 11 XWYg

Parties and holidays are extremely essential in life. There were making people gathering and happy. However, it's really challenging for the wedding organizer and Airlines. Personally, I do prefer this money could be spent on the poor people either than parties. Firstly, People are focusing on society and other people's opinions. Thusfore, they were throwing a lot of money for holidays and making celebration for any reason. For example, most parents pay lots of cash for the birthday party and asking a special company to arrange the place and the night to be unique and nobody else made it before. As a result, a lot of money has been spent on something that won't help people or generation. On the other hand, a number of children were dying every second, they are more important to get food and water to survive. Secondly, some people take loans from banks to make their occasions. They have the idea that says (live your life as you going to die tomorrow). Either than that, children feel jealous of the others and ask their parents for making the same parties. Furthermore, making occasions is nice, fun and letting people know each other on the contrary poor people or who can not afford this kind of parties will suffer. To conclude, making birthday and wedding parties are important for family to let them feel happy but can be the reason of other families sadness. Give money to the homeless better and more useful.

You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdinnercelebration
Parties
 and holidays are extremely
 essential in life. There were making You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 gathering and happy. However
, it's really
 challenging for the wedding organizer and Airlines. Personally
, I do prefer this You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 could be spent
 on the poor You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
Use "(either)" to make a comparison with this adjective.(either)
either
 than parties.

Firstly
, You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
People
 are focusing on society and You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :individualsnationsociety
people
's opinions. Possible spelling mistake found.Thus fore
Thusfore
, they were throwing This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 for holidays and making celebration for any reason. For example
, most parents pay lots of cash for the birthday You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdinnercelebration
party
 and asking a special This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :enterprisecorporation
company
 to arrange the place and the night to be unique and nobody else made it This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:previouslyprior to
before
.

As a result
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a plethora ofa number ofnumerous
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 has been spent
 on something that won't This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :assistassistance
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 or generation. On the You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
 hand, a number of children were dying every second, they are more This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :acquire
get
 food and water to survive.

Secondly
, This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:a number of
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 take loans from banks to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :createconstructmanufactureproduce
make
 their occasions. They have the This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :thoughtconceptnotion
idea
 that says (This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :reside
live
 your life as you going to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :pass away
die
 tomorrow). Use "(Either)" to make a comparison with this adjective.(Either)
Either
 than that, children feel jealous of the others and ask their parents for making the same You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdinnercelebration
parties
. Furthermore
, making occasions is nice, fun and letting You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 know each You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
on the contrary
 poor You use this word too often, consider replacing it withcrowdfamilycommunitynationsocietypublic
people
 or who can not afford this kind of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdinnercelebration
parties
 will suffer.

To conclude
, making birthday and wedding You use this word too often, consider replacing it withdinnercelebration
parties
 are This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:vitalcriticalessential
important
 for family to This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :authorize
let
 them feel happy This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:on the contrary
but
 can be the reason of You use this word too often, consider replacing it withnewalternativemore
other
Possible typo: apostrophe is missing. Did you mean "families'" or "family's"?families'family's
families
 sadness. Give You use this word too often, consider replacing it withsalarywagewealthpaybillcash
money
 to the homeless better and more useful. 