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Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. Discuss both views and give your opinion. v.1

Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v. 1
Festivals play a pivotal role in individuals' lives. A number of people believe that sparing much time in several occasions is a profligate subject. However, others claim it is significant for society as well as personal improvement. The essay will discuss both views and put forward evidences as to why amusing parties require to unite people in society. Those people who are opposite of holding festivals indicate various points. Firstly, instead of extravagant expenses, people can spare money for salutary of their area, improve the social structure and assist hapless communities. As a result, everyone can reside comfortably and equally and the economic rate will rocket. Secondly, those people point that if that amount which are consumed in a number of celebrations can account for the mass education, then illiteracy will be dispelled satisfactorily. For instance, Singapore, a couple of months ago, banned all types of ceremonies. Consequently, the country achieved considerable fruition in the last few years. On the other hand, in favour of occasions loving people, they refute that despite festivals require profuse expenditure, they are crucial elements of social bonding to assemble in same umbrella because numerous sorts of people will attend in these programs. The convenience will be to wax their understanding and to fold fraternising among society's members. For example, in Bangladesh, conflict has increased suddenly. So, the government has ordered to arrange some musical parties furthermore to manage many conciliatory meetings in villages and cities to concert persons. To conclude, cultural and general arrangements are appropriate tasks for betterment of any area. In my opinion, although these types of celebrations demand much money, they are entirely important for individuals in addition communities.
Festivals play a pivotal role in individuals'
lives
. A number of
people
believe that sparing much time in several occasions is a profligate subject.
However
, others claim it is significant for society
as well
as personal improvement. The essay will discuss both views and put forward evidences as to why amusing parties require
to unite
people
in society.

Those
people
who are opposite of holding festivals indicate various points.
Firstly
,
instead
of extravagant expenses,
people
can spare money for salutary of their area,
improve
the social structure and assist hapless communities.
As a result
, everyone can reside
comfortably
and
equally
and the economic rate will rocket.
Secondly
, those
people
point that if that amount which
are consumed
in a number of celebrations can account for the mass education, then illiteracy will
be dispelled
satisfactorily
.
For instance
, Singapore, a couple of months ago, banned all types of ceremonies.
Consequently
, the country achieved considerable fruition in the last few years.

On the other hand
, in
favour
of occasions loving
people
, they refute that despite festivals require profuse expenditure, they are crucial elements of social bonding to assemble in same umbrella
because
numerous sorts of
people
will attend in these programs. The convenience will be to wax their understanding and to fold
fraternising
among society's members.
For example
, in Bangladesh, conflict has increased
suddenly
.
So
, the
government
has ordered to arrange
some
musical parties
furthermore
to manage
many
conciliatory meetings in villages and cities to concert persons.

To conclude
, cultural and general arrangements are appropriate tasks for betterment of any area. In my opinion, although these types of celebrations demand much money, they are
entirely
important
for individuals
in addition
communities.
8.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think that spending a lot on holding wedding parties, birthday and other celebrations is just a waste of money. Others, however, think that these are necessary for individuals and the society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
278 words
8.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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