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Some people think that some lessons for young children age 5 8 which include video games can serve as effective and interesting ways of learning while others think that these lessons are quite distracting and can be seen as a waste of time What is your op

Some people think that some lessons for young children age 5 8 which include video games can serve as effective and interesting ways of learning while others think that these lessons are quite distracting and can be seen as a waste of time What is your op RNWqM
Chilhood is the most integral period of our life in the process of learning. Since we have a fertile brain in which we can cultivate the most friutful trees. Some poeple believe that novel educational video games are motivating and helping in nurturing children's mind, others disagree. In my opinion, many of those educational video games, especially which one has prepared by experts, are excellent and useful. In the following essay I delve into my reasons. To begin with, video games are attracting for children. They use many stimulating sense such as visual, hearing, and touch in thier involving games, therefore children eagerly follow those videos without tiredness. These approachs expose children's brain cells to diverse stimuli and force them to engross in those puzzle. To put it into perspective, my six-year-old boy show his intrest to a specific video game which his mother provided him with. I saw how he shows his emotions whenever he is watching that video game. Not only does that game entertain my baby, but also it imporve his concentration. Since he is used to playing this game which is produced to convey some math concepts, I figuered out he is able to encounter some simple number better than his cuosins who are at the sam ege. It seems that his math talents spings after watching this game. In addition, many psychologists suggest that we should play with children at the early ages including ages at 5 to 10. Physical palys have promotive effects on children's growth. Thaks to the advanced technology, nowadays, there are several video games that need children to do physical movement and even exercise. They have both mental and physycal positive impacts on children potentials. For instance, my brother bought a video games for his girl through which her daugther should hide some of her dolls in different parts of his doll-house and a day after that she should find them in a short time. I found this ingenious game how encourage children to enjoy exploring in their room and benefit of an active life. Befor that I was worry about the sedentary life-style which this generation are adopting but after seeing this video game, I found that there is a lot of room for technology improvemnet which can elleviates our worry. As we can see there is a good trend to produce more useful video game than past. In conclusion, considering all aforementioned details, I strongly believe that video games could render many advantages for children if parents be careful to chose the best one. This is because video games involve all children's sense and motivate their brain cells to empover and becasue they give those children many physical benefits.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chilhood
is the most integral period of our life in the process of learning.
“Since” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Since
we have a fertile brain in which we can cultivate the most
Possible spelling mistake found.
friutful
trees.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
Possible spelling mistake found.
poeple
believe that novel educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are motivating and helping in nurturing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
mind, others disagree. In my opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of those educational
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
especially
which one has prepared by experts, are excellent and useful. In the following essay I delve into my reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
are attracting for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
Possible agreement error. The noun sense seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much stimulating sense", "a good deal of stimulating sense".
many stimulating sense
such as visual, hearing, and touch in
Possible spelling mistake found.
thier
involving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
,
therefore
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
eagerly
follow those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
videos
without tiredness. These
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "approaches", the plural form of the noun 'approach'?
approachs
expose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
brain cells to diverse stimuli and force them to engross in those puzzle. To put it into perspective, my six-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
boy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
his
Possible spelling mistake found.
intrest
to a specific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game which his mother provided him with. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
saw
how he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
his emotions whenever he is watching that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game. Not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
does that game entertain my baby,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
imporve
his concentration. Since he is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to playing this game which
is produced
to convey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
math concepts, I
Possible spelling mistake found.
figuered
out he is able to encounter
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
simple number better than his
Possible spelling mistake found.
cuosins
who are at the
Possible spelling mistake found.
sam
Possible spelling mistake found.
ege
. It seems that his math talents
Possible spelling mistake found.
spings
after watching this game.

In addition
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
psychologists suggest that we should play with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
at the early ages including ages at 5 to 10. Physical
Possible spelling mistake found.
palys
have
Possible spelling mistake found.
promotive
effects on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
growth.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Thaks
to the advanced technology, nowadays, there are several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
that need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do physical movement and even exercise. They have both mental and
Possible spelling mistake found.
physycal
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impacts on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
potentials.
For instance
, my brother
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bought
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
for his girl through which her
Possible spelling mistake found.
daugther
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of her dolls in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
parts of his doll-
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and a day after that she should find them in a short time. I found this ingenious game how encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to enjoy exploring in their room and benefit of an active life.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Befor
that I was
Did you mean "worried"?
worry
about the sedentary life-style which this generation are adopting
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
after seeing this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game, I found that there is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
room for technology
Possible spelling mistake found.
improvemnet
which can
Possible spelling mistake found.
elleviates
our worry.
“As” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
As
we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
there is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
trend to produce more useful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
game than past.

In conclusion
, considering all aforementioned
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
, I
strongly
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
could render
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
if parents be careful
Did you mean "to choose"?
to chose
the best one. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
games
involve all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children's
sense and motivate their brain cells to
Possible spelling mistake found.
empover
and
Possible spelling mistake found.
becasue
they give those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
physical benefits.
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IELTS essay Some people think that some lessons for young children age 5 8 which include video games can serve as effective and interesting ways of learning while others think that these lessons are quite distracting and can be seen as a waste of time What is your op

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
450 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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  • Some people think that some lessons for young children age 5 8 which include video games can serve as effective and interesting ways of learning while others think that these lessons are quite distracting and can be seen as a waste of time What is your op