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Human is a social species who need to communicate with their peers.

Human is a social species who need to communicate with their peers. 15mML
Human is a social species who need to communicate with their peers. our friends are made the most important part of our social life. There is a couple of different strategy about choosing and keeping friendship for long term; some people tend to keep their friendship firm as they get older and make that more close and old base, while others prefer to find new friends and they enjoy make new communication environment. personally, I believe that old friends should be kept for whole our life and this strategy has several advantages which will be discuses more in details below. First and foremost, finding a good friend is not easy at all. it worths if you find a good friend who match with your criteria, try to keep your contact closer and more persistent. based on our personalities and our conditions, we have a lot of different factors to determine the best friend character. this may take a long time to find a good case for friendship. when we choose someone to have close relationship, we enter to private zone of each other and will know many things. these acquaintances will be a good way to help each other to improve our social personality. For example, my father and his friend who they have been friend for more than 30 years, have a lot of these kinds of example that they have encountered in this long term. secondly, as we grow up our flexibility ability to change our behavior decline and our personalities get its shape. it is not easy to make a new good friendship as earlier. As a child, finding a new friend that we spend sometime with her takes a minute, but for an adult it may need longer time and more suitable condition. I remember when I was a boy in elementary school every week, we had new close friend which may wouldn't take so long. As we grow up in the high school it was more difficult and we were more rigid to be open to new person. During the time our friend ship get stronger and we understand our personality better. these communications shaped our friendship and in this reciprocate behavior we changed consciously or unconsciously our personality to match better. it took a lot time and many efforts and this is a huge investment. we should be careful about our wealthy investment and keep them safe. To make short a long story, I believe that old friends are so much important and we should keep them carefully. they are our long investment and they took a lot of time and energy to were build. keeping old friendship well is easier and more beneficial than making new friend which it needs this enormous effort.
Human is a social species who need to communicate with their peers.
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our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are made
the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
part of our social life. There is a couple of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategy about choosing and keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
for
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long
term;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
tend to
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keep
their
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friendship
firm as they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
older and
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make
that more close and
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old
base, while others prefer to find
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new
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
friends and
they enjoy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
communication environment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
personally
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
for whole our life and this strategy has several advantages which will be discuses more in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
below.

First
and foremost, finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
is not easy at all.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
Possible spelling mistake found.
worths
if you find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who match with your criteria, try to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
your contact closer and more persistent.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
based
on our personalities and our conditions, we have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
factors to determine the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
character.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
this
may take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
case for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
when
we choose someone to have close relationship, we enter to private zone of each other and will know
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
acquaintances will be a
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good
way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
each other to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
our social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
.
For example
, my father and his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
who they have been
Consider using a past participle here: "friended".
friend
for more than 30 years, have a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of these kinds of example that they have encountered in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
term.

This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
secondly
, as we grow up our flexibility ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
our behavior decline and our personalities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
its shape.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
is not easy to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
as earlier. As a child, finding a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
that we spend sometime with her takes a minute,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
for an adult it may need longer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and more suitable condition. I remember when I was a boy in elementary school every week, we had
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
close
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
which may wouldn't take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
. As we grow up in the high school it was more
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
difficult and
we were more rigid to be open to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
person. During the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
ship
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
stronger and
we understand our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
better.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
these
communications shaped our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
and in this reciprocate behavior we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changed
consciously
or
unconsciously
our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
personality
to match better.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
it
took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
efforts and this is a huge investment.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
should be careful about our wealthy investment and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them safe.

To
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make
short a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
story, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friends
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
important and
we should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
keep
them
carefully
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
they
are our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
long
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
investment and
they took a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy to
Did you mean "where" or "we"?
were
build.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
keeping
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
old
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friendship
well is easier and more beneficial than making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
friend
which it needs this enormous effort.
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IELTS essay Human is a social species who need to communicate with their peers.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
460 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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