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Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society. 9WgX
In today’s online and interconnected society, the discussion around the negative impact of social networks has been placed at the forefront of many public debates. In this response, I will discuss my initial thoughts on both the positive and negative attributes of social networks. I first concede that social networks have created effective platforms for artists and small businesses that has had an equalising effect on certain industries and business sectors. These industries, record labels for musicians and the costs of running a retail store, for example, had almost insurmountable barriers to success before the rise of interconnected technologies. This can be seen in the proliferation of online business social media accounts that perform a role similar to a retail sales associate; They inform, guide and assist customers and interested parties, while also reducing the costs associated with maintaining a retail store. I do however agree that we as citizens have traded away rights for convenience in this exchange, a conclusion that I draw from my own experiences as part of Generation Z. These experiences have made me wary of both the mental and privacy issues that social networks inflict on today’s youth. I believe that these highly interconnected online spaces prevent us from ‘breaking’ away from overexposure to issues, debates and media consumption. My other concern, digital privacy, has also become a vital issue in the international debate, one that has only recently spawned from the privacy scandals surrounding social media giants like Facebook and Tencent (developer of WeChat). Though social networks have acted as an effective gateway to success for small businesses and individuals, these pros are accompanied by online
In
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
and interconnected society, the discussion around the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
has
been placed
at the forefront of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
public debates. In this response, I will discuss my initial thoughts on both the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
attributes of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
networks.

I
first
concede that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
have created effective platforms for artists and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
that has had an
Possible spelling mistake. 'equalising' is British English.
equalising
effect on certain industries and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
sectors. These industries, record labels for musicians and the costs of running a retail store,
for example
, had almost insurmountable barriers to success
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the rise of interconnected technologies. This can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
in the proliferation of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media accounts that perform a role similar to a retail sales associate; They inform, guide and assist customers and interested parties, while
also
reducing the costs associated with maintaining a retail store.

I do
however
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that we as citizens have traded away rights for convenience in this exchange, a conclusion that I draw from my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experiences as part of Generation Z. These experiences have made me wary of both the mental and privacy issues that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
inflict on
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s youth. I believe that these
highly
interconnected
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
spaces
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
us from ‘breaking’ away from overexposure to issues, debates and media consumption. My other concern, digital privacy, has
also
become a vital issue in the international debate, one that has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
recently spawned from the privacy scandals surrounding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media giants like Facebook and Tencent (developer of WeChat).

Though
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
networks
have acted as an effective gateway to success for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
and individuals, these pros
are accompanied
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
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IELTS essay Some people think that social networking sites have a huge negative impact on both individuals and society.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
271 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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