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Many of the countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their view?

Many of the countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their view? O2oj
Despite the fact that international tourism plays a crucial role in countries social and economical growth, it is believed by many that tourism industry have some important disadvantages. At the forefront of all demerits of tourism is the impact on local culture. Locals might be drastically affected by visitors who travel to distant small countries with their modern lifestyle traditions. For instance, numerous countries still have their traditional style weddings and when foreigners come to organise their western style weddings in such countries, locals might be highly influenced by their modern ways of weddings. Hence, cultural mixing can be particularly harmful for small countries where people follow their traditional values. The second main drawbacks of tourist influx is the environmental pollution particularly on areas of natural beauty and historical places. To be more clear, when travellers are visiting such places, they tend to be incredibly careless about their garbage disposal and they do not think the long-term affects of their actions. Fortunately, international tourism has plethora of advantages that might help countries to change their mindset about the above-mentioned drawbacks. Firstly, tourism is one of the most valuable revenue source for countries. Incoming visitors contribute to economies in various ways and this income can be used to help countries to grow economically and socially. Secondly, part of this revenue may be used to decrease the environmental pollution caused by the tourist, and maintenance of historical places. For example, organisations that fight with pollution can be funded by some part of the income supplied by the tourists. Finally, tourism is extremely essential for livelihood of numerous locals. Oceans of opportunities namely in restaurants, cafes, hotels and tourist guiding agencies is generated for the locals to work and provide for themselves. To conclude, although there are many drawbacks caused by tourism, such as environmental pollution and decreasing of traditional culture, various measures can be taken to tackle these issues and achieve positive outcomes from tourism.
Despite the fact that international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
plays a crucial role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
social and
Did you mean "economic" (=connected with economy)?
economical
growth, it
is believed
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
industry have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
disadvantages.

At the forefront of all demerits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the impact on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
culture.

Locals might be
drastically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by visitors who travel to distant
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
with their modern lifestyle traditions.
For instance
, numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
still
have their traditional style weddings and when foreigners
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to
Possible spelling mistake. 'organise' is British English.
organise
their western style weddings in such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
might be
highly
influenced by their modern ways of weddings.
Hence
, cultural mixing can be
particularly
harmful for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
follow their traditional values. The second main drawbacks of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
influx is the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
particularly
on areas of natural beauty and historical places. To be more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
, when
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
are visiting such places, they tend to be
incredibly
careless about their garbage
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
disposal and
they do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the long-term affects of their actions.

Fortunately
, international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
has plethora of advantages that might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their mindset about the above-mentioned drawbacks.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is one of the most valuable revenue source for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Incoming visitors contribute to economies in various ways and this income can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
to grow
economically
and
socially
.
Secondly
, part of this revenue may be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to decrease the environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
caused by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
, and maintenance of historical places.
For example
,
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisations' is British English.
organisations
that fight with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
can
be funded
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
part of the income supplied by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is
extremely
essential for livelihood of numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
. Oceans of opportunities
namely
in restaurants,
'cafes' is an imported foreign expression, which originally has a diacritic. Consider using "cafés"
cafes
, hotels and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
guiding agencies
is generated
for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
to work and provide for themselves.

To conclude
, although there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks caused by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
, such as environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
pollution
and decreasing of traditional culture, various measures can
be taken
to tackle these issues and achieve
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
outcomes from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
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IELTS essay Many of the countries believe that international tourism has harmful effects. Why do they think so? What can be done to change their view?

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
323 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
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    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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