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It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents,for instance for sport or music,and ofhers are not.However,it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views give your own opinion.

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and ofhers are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. 0YQB
A great number of people maintain that people are born with definite abilities, for example musical or sportive skills, whereas others think any person could be skillful in any professions like a perfect musician or sportsman. Firstly, this essay will discuss the main factor which is more essential to become talented and secondly, will show that other people have a great impact on us. First and foremost, heredity has played a major role in people’s lives since civilization began. Consequently, people should be grateful to their ancestors due to their extra-ordinary skills. There are a wide range of generations that transmit their abilities to other people as the centuries passed by. Moreover, for numerous years the same city or village has known for its prominent personalities such as musicians or sportmen. For example, according to research made by a group of scientists in California in 2010, heredity accounted for the great percentage among talented people. On the other hand, in today’s competitive era, people could learn different ways of becoming skillful. Due to the fact that there are more courses, individual tutors or other sources which could be beneficial in giving a hand to everyone. In that case there is only a strong desire and hard work needed in excecuting their abilities in more fields such as sports or music. Numerous people around us inspire us how to achieve our goals or go ahead. For instance, according to a survey held among skillful adults in the USA in 2015, 7 out of 10 people achieved it through experiments and friends around them. In conclusion, it is claimed that people are born with their unusual skills together, whereas according to others’ thoughts people could achieve these abilities so easily in any case. In my opinion, heredity might affect greatly, whereas environment is much more influencial in increasing talents.
A great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
maintain that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
definite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
,
for example
musical or sportive
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, whereas others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
any person could be skillful in any professions like a perfect musician or sportsman.
Firstly
, this essay will discuss the main factor which is more essential to become talented and
secondly
, will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a great impact on us.

First
and foremost, heredity has played a major role in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people’s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
since civilization began.
Consequently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be grateful to their ancestors due to their extra-ordinary
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
. There are a wide range of generations that transmit their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as the centuries passed by.
Moreover
, for numerous years the same city or village has known for its prominent personalities such as musicians or
Possible spelling mistake found.
sportmen
.
For example
, according to research made by a group of scientists in California in 2010, heredity accounted for the great percentage among talented
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s competitive era,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could learn
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of becoming skillful. Due to the fact that there are more courses, individual tutors or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
sources which could be beneficial in giving a hand to everyone.
In that case
there is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a strong desire and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work needed in
Possible spelling mistake found.
excecuting
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
in more fields such as sports or music. Numerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around us inspire us how to achieve our goals or go ahead.
For instance
, according to a survey held among skillful adults in the USA in 2015, 7 out of 10
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
achieved it through experiments and friends around them.

In conclusion
, it
is claimed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are born
with their unusual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
together, whereas according to others’ thoughts
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
could achieve these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
easily
in any case. In my opinion, heredity might affect
greatly
, whereas environment is much more
Possible spelling mistake found.
influencial
in increasing talents.
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IELTS essay It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and ofhers are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
307 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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