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Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why?

Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why? n66Pn
Self-growth is a vital part of our lives. Personal development helps us to find an opportunity of creating a better life from every angle. It helps to find out the opportunity to create better life mentally, physically, and spiritually. many people consider that self-development is more essential than provided training. There are few reasons why personal development is more important. On the one hand, because of self-improvement lacking, many people cannot explore themselves. For me, as an artist, personal growth is the most essential to stay competitive and useful. each person, who develops herself/himself is beneficial for the whole society. Researches showed, that 78% of society prefers to develop their selves instead of taking coaching provided by different institutions. On the other hand, we take training with groups, where nobody is concentrated only on us, so we may be disappointed. Also, training is not available for many people, while you can raise your abilities and skills freely by working on personal growing
Self-growth is a vital part of our
lives
.
Personal
development
helps us to find
an opportunity of creating a better life from every angle. It
helps
to find out the opportunity to create better life mentally,
physically
, and
spiritually
.
many
people
consider that self-development is more essential than provided training. There are few reasons why
personal
development is more
important
.

On the one hand,
because
of self-improvement lacking,
many
people
cannot explore themselves. For me, as an artist,
personal
growth is the most essential to stay competitive and useful.
each
person, who develops herself/himself is beneficial for the whole society. Researches
showed
, that 78% of society prefers to develop their selves
instead
of taking coaching provided by
different
institutions.

On the other hand
, we take training with groups, where nobody
is concentrated
only
on us,
so
we may
be disappointed
.
Also
, training is not available for
many
people
, while you can raise your abilities and
skills
freely
by working on
personal
growing
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IELTS essay Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
161 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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