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Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why?

Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why? kYYy8
Self-growth is a vital part of our lives. Personal development helps us find an opportunity of creating a better life from every angle. It helps to find out the opportunity to create better life mentally, materially, and spiritually. Numerous people consider that self-development is more essential than provided training. There are few reasons why personal development is more critical. On the one hand, due to the fact of self-improvement lacking, a number of people cannot explore themselves. For me, as an artist, personal growth is the most essential to stay competitive and useful. Each person, who develops herself/himself is beneficial for the whole society. Researches showed, that 78% of society prefers to develop their selves rather athan of taking coaching provided by various institutions. On the other hand, we take training with groups, where nobody is focused only on us, we may be frustrated. Moreover, training is not available for numerous people, while you can raise your abilities and skills without paying anybody by working on personal growth.
Self-growth is a vital part of our
lives
.
Personal
development
helps
us find an opportunity of creating a better life from every angle. It
helps
to find out the opportunity to create better life mentally,
materially
, and
spiritually
. Numerous
people
consider that self-development is more essential than provided training. There are few reasons why
personal
development is more critical.

On the one hand, due to the fact of self-improvement lacking, a number of
people
cannot explore themselves. For me, as an artist,
personal
growth is the most essential to stay competitive and useful. Each person, who develops herself/himself is beneficial for the whole society. Researches
showed
, that 78% of society prefers to develop their selves
rather
athan
of taking coaching provided by various institutions.

On the other hand
, we take training with groups, where nobody
is focused
only
on us, we may
be frustrated
.
Moreover
, training is not available for numerous
people
, while you can raise your abilities and
skills
without paying anybody by working on
personal
growth.
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IELTS essay Some people think that self-development is more important than any kind of training provided by different institutions. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why?

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
168 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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