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Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions.

Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions. m11yO
THESE DAYS, PEOPLE ARE NOT HEALTHY AND LESS VIGOROUS COMPARED TO THEIR ANCESTORS. THIS ESSAY WILL CONSIDER THE MAIN CAUSES OF THIS PROBLEM, BEFORE PROPOSING TWO SOLUTIONS. PERHAPS, THE MAIN CAUSE OF UNHEALTHINESS OF PEOPLE IS THEIR BUSY LIFE. DUE TO OF MATERIALISTIC WORLD, PEOPLE WORK HARD TO EARN MONEY AS MUCH AS THEY CAN, THEREFORE, SPEND NUMEROUS AMOUNT OF TIME AT WORK. EVEN THOUGH THEY EARN HUGE MONEY, THEY DO NOT HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO COOK FOOD FOR THEMSELVES. THIS IS BECAUSE PEOPLE PREFER TO HAVE UNHEALTHY FOOD OR FAST FOOD IN THE PLACE OF HOME FOOD. ANOTHER KEY REASON IS THE ADVENT OF TECHNOLOGY. THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE NOW DEPENDENT ON THE TECHNOLOGY AS IT MAKES WORK EASIER. DUE TO THIS. PEOPLE HAVE ADDPOTED SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE. HENCE, MOST OF THEIR TIME IS BEING WASTED ON DOING NOTHING. FORTUNATELY, HOWEVER, THERE ARE TWO PROMISING SOLUTIONS TO THIS PROBLEM. FIRST OF ALL, PEOPLE HAVE TO USE THE TECHNOLOGY IN A CLEVER WAY. TO COMMUTING WORK, THEY USE CAR OR ANY OTHER EASY WAY OF TRAVEL. IF THE PEOPLE START TO USE BICYCLE INSTEAD OF CAR, THEY CAN BECOME FIT AND LIVE HEALTHY LIFE. SECONDLY, THE TIME MANAGEMENT IS A PIVOTAL IN THE TERMS OF BALANCE LIFE. FOR EXAMPLE, IF THE PEOPLE ALLOCATE TIME IN A EFFECTIVE WAY, THEY CAN SAVE A PLENTY OF TIME AND THOSE TIME CAN BE IMPLEMENTED BY DOING EXERCISES. THIS WOULD NOT ONLY MAKE PEOPLE FIT BUT ALSO SUCCESS. TO CONCLUDE, HEALTH IS A SERIOUS PROBLEM WHICH IS PRIMARILY CAUSED BY BUSY LIFE AND MISUSE OF TECHNOLOGY. THIS PROBLEM CAN BE SOLVED BY THE EFFECTIVE TIME MANAGEMENT AND PROPER WAY OF USE OF TECHNOLOGY
THESE DAYS,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ARE NOT HEALTHY AND LESS VIGOROUS COMPARED TO THEIR ANCESTORS. THIS ESSAY WILL CONSIDER THE MAIN CAUSES OF THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEM
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BEFORE
PROPOSING TWO SOLUTIONS.

PERHAPS, THE MAIN CAUSE OF UNHEALTHINESS OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
IS THEIR BUSY
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LIFE
. DUE TO OF MATERIALISTIC WORLD,
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PEOPLE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
HARD
TO EARN MONEY AS MUCH AS THEY CAN,
THEREFORE
, SPEND NUMEROUS AMOUNT OF
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TIME
AT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
.
EVEN THOUGH
THEY EARN HUGE MONEY, THEY DO NOT HAVE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
ENOUGH
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
TO COOK
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
FOR THEMSELVES. THIS IS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
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PEOPLE
PREFER TO HAVE UNHEALTHY
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FOOD
OR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
IN THE PLACE OF HOME
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FOOD
. ANOTHER KEY REASON IS THE ADVENT OF
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TECHNOLOGY
. THE MAJORITY OF
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PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
NOW
DEPENDENT ON THE
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TECHNOLOGY
AS IT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKES
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WORK
EASIER. DUE TO THIS.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
HAVE
Possible spelling mistake found.
ADDPOTED
SEDENTARY LIFESTYLE.
HENCE
, MOST OF THEIR
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
IS
BEING WASTED
ON DOING NOTHING.

FORTUNATELY
,
HOWEVER
, THERE ARE TWO PROMISING SOLUTIONS TO THIS
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PROBLEM
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
FIRST OF ALL
,
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PEOPLE
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
HAVE TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
THE
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TECHNOLOGY
IN A CLEVER WAY. TO COMMUTING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
WORK
, THEY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
CAR OR ANY OTHER EASY WAY OF TRAVEL. IF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
START
TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
BICYCLE
INSTEAD
OF CAR, THEY CAN BECOME FIT AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVE
HEALTHY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
.
SECONDLY
, THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
MANAGEMENT IS A PIVOTAL IN THE TERMS OF BALANCE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
.
FOR EXAMPLE
, IF THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
ALLOCATE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
IN A EFFECTIVE WAY, THEY CAN SAVE A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
PLENTY
OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
AND THOSE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
CAN
BE IMPLEMENTED
BY DOING EXERCISES. THIS WOULD NOT
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ONLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
FIT
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BUT
ALSO
SUCCESS.

TO CONCLUDE
, HEALTH IS A SERIOUS
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PROBLEM
WHICH IS
PRIMARILY
CAUSED BY BUSY
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
LIFE
AND MISUSE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TECHNOLOGY
. THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PROBLEM
CAN
BE SOLVED
BY THE EFFECTIVE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
TIME
MANAGEMENT AND PROPER WAY OF
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
USE
OF
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
TECHNOLOGY
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IELTS essay Nowadays most people are not as fit and active, as they were in the past. What are the main causes of this situation? Suggest some possible solutions.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
277 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
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