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Some people think that secondary school should ad international news as a subject. Others think that it is a waste of time

Some people think that secondary school should ad international news as a subject. Others think that it is a waste of time QM78y
Some people hold the idea that adding international news as a one of the school subjects can bring many benefits while others think regarding this as a subject is a waste of time and of no benefit to pupils. Irrespective of controversy of these views, I will try to discuss both sides in detail below. On the one hand, many people are convinced that international news can be a tremendous advantage for secondary school students. Watching the news on a daily basis helps them to broaden their knowledge and they become familiar with the life in various nations. In addition, Such news notifies people of up-to-date information and presents situation, social events occurring in foreign countries. For instance, If a student have a desire to persue his or her education international news are really handy source to get information about his or her targeted countries. On the other hand, Some think that teaching international news as a subject at school might have negative impact on students, because, school curriculum itself is overloaded and this addition may increase stress level. To illustrate, international news are often about devastation and crimes that surely effects their emotional development. Moreover, news given about international countries is not always true and reliable, Such fake news may contribute to create false impression on youth about some countries. From this side, it would not be a vise idea to teach it as a subject at school. To summarise, conducting international news as a subject can be benefit but it is not good to impose much pressure on them and to allow to listen false news. Therefore, I am strongly in favor of keeping the present curriculum unchanged.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
hold the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that adding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a one of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
can bring
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
regarding this as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
is a waste of time and of no benefit to pupils. Irrespective of controversy of these views, I will try to discuss both sides in detail below. On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are convinced
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
can be a tremendous advantage for secondary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
students. Watching the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
on a daily basis
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
them to broaden their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
knowledge and
they become familiar with the life in various nations.
In addition
, Such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
notifies
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
of up-to-date information and presents situation, social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
occurring in foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
For instance
, If a student have a desire to
Possible spelling mistake found.
persue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
education
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
really
handy source to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
information about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
targeted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
.
On the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that teaching
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
might have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impact on students,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum itself
is overloaded
and this addition may increase
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
level. To illustrate,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
about devastation and crimes that
surely
effects their emotional development.
Moreover
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
is not always true and reliable, Such fake
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
may contribute to create false impression on youth about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. From this side, it would not be a vise
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
to teach it as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. To
Possible spelling mistake. 'summarise' is British English.
summarise
, conducting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
can be benefit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
to impose much pressure on them and to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
Did you mean "listening"? Or maybe you should add a pronoun? In active voice, 'allow' + 'to' takes an object, usually a pronoun.
to listen
false
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
.
Therefore
, I am
strongly
in favor of keeping the present curriculum unchanged.
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IELTS essay Some people think that secondary school should ad international news as a subject. Others think that it is a waste of time

Essay
  American English
1 paragraphs
280 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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