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Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of school subjects. Others people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The importance of global media seems to increase every year, so much so to the point of introducing news channel into the classrooms. I believe this to be dangerous and potentially damaging due to the nature of the media. Firstly, considering the importance of education in modern society, it is extremely worrisome and dangerous to consider substituting school subjects with international news. This is because there is no correct, balanced, unbiased news source. For example if a child spent their school days watching FOX NEWS, they would potentially have a skewed opinion of the world due to its unabashed right wing credentials. Therefore, changing a child’s information diet from traditional subject such as music or geography to watching a potentially partisan news channel is an extremely risky idea. Secondly, if international news were to become a new subject it could have a detrimental emotional impact on young minds. In general the majority of news is negative, hence the expression ‘if it bleeds it leads’. For example, studies by the EFE News Agency show that 85% of headlines are negative in nature, usually referring to natural disasters, war, famine, etc. The logic of having these types of stories beamed into a school, to those of an impressionable age has to be challenged. To conclude, due to the risk from political influences, and the harsh reality of global news, I am strongly in favour of maintaining the current curriculum.
The importance of global media seems to increase every year,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
to the point of introducing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel into the classrooms. I believe this to be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
and
potentially
damaging due to the nature of the media.

Firstly
, considering the importance of education in modern society, it is
extremely
worrisome and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
to consider substituting school subjects with international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is no correct, balanced, unbiased
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
source.
For example
if a child spent their school days watching FOX
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
NEWS
, they would
potentially
have a skewed opinion of the world due to its unabashed right wing credentials.
Therefore
, changing a child’s information diet from traditional subject such as music or geography to watching a
potentially
partisan
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
channel is an
extremely
risky
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
.

Secondly
, if international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
were to become a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
subject it could have a detrimental emotional impact on young minds.
In general
the majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
,
hence
the expression ‘if it bleeds it leads’.
For example
, studies by the
Possible spelling mistake found.
EFE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
News
Agency
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
that 85% of headlines are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
in nature,
usually
referring to natural disasters, war, famine, etc. The logic of having these types of stories beamed into a school, to those of an impressionable age
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
be challenged
.

To conclude
, due to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
from political influences, and the harsh reality of global
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
, I am
strongly
in
Possible spelling mistake. ‘favour’ is British English.
favour
of maintaining the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
current
curriculum.
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IELTS essay Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of school subjects. Others people think that it is a waste of valuable school time.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
237 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
5.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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  • Some people think that secondary school children should study international news as one of school subjects. Others people think that it is a waste of valuable school time. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.