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Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management because it is an important life skill

Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management because it is an important life skill DakDj
At present time, many individuals agree with a viewpoint that secondary or high school students should be given the monetary management courses at school as it is an essential social skill. In my opinion, I completely agree with this point of view because of there will have many great benefits for their future. First, at today’s world money management program is one of the most important things for people include old and young people, this skill will teach child to become more financial independence. Economic education as a way how to balance the spending and make decision on their cash flow. It is clear that a number of people keep away from wasting money, in some case saving money is one of their hobbies. For instance, when I was children, I had been taught to savings money, the value of money. Nowadays, money is the most crucial thing to buy items so student must to know to live in any living conditions. Second, economic subject will improve knowledge of student and they know how to use money effectively. They should buy important items for their life, for example: food, clothes, furniture’s, on the other hand, many people avoid from many projects that they have to spend a lot of money. Moreover, many people have been lured by advertising with marketing and they have paid a lot for things that really have no benefit. In conclusion, while many people tend to live with the comfort of spending money without thinking and it is effect on their child, some individual trust in viewpoint that school should be given financial management skills subject as a major skill in children’s life
At present time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
individuals
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with a viewpoint that secondary or high school students should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
the monetary management courses at school as it is an essential social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
. In my opinion, I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this point of view
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of there will have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
great benefits for their future.

First
, at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
management program is one of the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
things for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
include
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
and young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
will teach child to become more financial independence. Economic education as a way how to balance the spending and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
decision on their cash flow. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
away from wasting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
case saving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is one of their hobbies.
For instance
, when I was children, I had
been taught
to savings
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, the value of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
. Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
is the most crucial thing to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
items
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
student
After 'must', the verb is used without 'to'. Probably, you should use "must" or "have to" here.
must to
know to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in any living conditions.

Second, economic subject will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
knowledge of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
student and
they know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
effectively
. They should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
items for their life,
for example
: food, clothes, furniture’s,
on the other hand
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
avoid from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
projects that they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
been lured
by advertising with
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
marketing and
they have paid a lot for things that
really
have no benefit.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
with the comfort of spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
without thinking and it is effect on their child,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individual trust in viewpoint that school should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
financial management
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
subject as a major
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
in children’s life
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IELTS essay Some people think that secondary or high school students should be taught how to use money management because it is an important life skill

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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