Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities. Others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities study together. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities. Others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities study together. v. 2
Children should enrol in schools according to their age. In nowadays, there is a majority of people think pupils should be selected before to go to the school; however, the others think their children should be mixed together. I agree with both of them and will discuss in 2 reasons. Looking about the benefits they want, we can see the intelligent students learning at the high pace and the sessions can be made more interesting for them. This also happen to the weak student, but it is with a slower pace. Moreover, different strategies will make the student utilize their abilities. In contrast, weak pupils can be looked up thankfully. Furthermore, it has been seen that sometimes the more intelligent students show Disruptive behaviour. They can grasp things very soon and then disturb the others. It can become very difficult for the teacher to maintain discipline in the class. On the other hand, the weak students can develop totally to better themselves and easy to go in real life. When the pupils learn in a mixed school, a sense of competition develops and weak students are motivated to study. Even intelligent students can help weak students in studies and the bond can be strengthened. In my opinion, children should not be separated as only academic abilities are not enough to judge the intelligence of the students. I would rather suggest what I had in my school, and that is extra coaching to weaker students. It serves the purpose best as teachers save their time and energy and yet maintain the effectiveness.
Children should enrol in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
according to their age.
nowadays is used without 'in'. Use simply: "nowadays".
In nowadays
, there is a majority of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
pupils should
be selected
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
to go to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
;
however
, the others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
their children should
be mixed
together. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with both of them and will discuss in 2 reasons.

Looking about the benefits they want, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
learning at the high pace and the sessions can
be made
more interesting for them. This
also
happen to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is with a slower pace.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
strategies will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
utilize their abilities.
In contrast
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weak
pupils can
be looked
up
thankfully
.

Furthermore
, it has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
the more intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show


Disruptive
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
. They can grasp things
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
and then disturb the others. It can become
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult for the teacher to maintain discipline in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

On the other hand
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can develop
totally
to better themselves and easy to go in real life. When the pupils learn in a mixed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, a sense of competition develops and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are motivated
to study. Even intelligent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
weak
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in studies and the bond can
be strengthened
.

In my opinion, children should not
be separated
as
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
academic abilities are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to judge the intelligence of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. I would
rather
suggest what I had in my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, and
that is
extra coaching to weaker
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. It serves the purpose best as teachers save their time and energy and
yet
maintain the effectiveness.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
19Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Some people think that schools should select students according to their academic abilities. Others believe that it is better to have students with different abilities study together. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
261 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts