Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.10

Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. v. 10
Environmental protection has been a hot debate in recent decades among various groups of organizations, government and individuals. It is due to the excessive usage and over-exploitation of natural resources by humans. It is often argued that the responsibility of environmental protection is to lay on the government, while some argued that everyone around the globe should take part in it. Personally, after considering both sides of view, I admit that both sides are indispensable to achieve a better environment on Earth. To start off, I believe that the government plays a crucial role to guide citizens to develop a daily habit to protect the surroundings. By formulating legislative establishments, for instance, plastic bags usage restriction, also draw up a relative punishment, can undoubtedly create a deterrence effect towards to public. In the long run, people living within the nation can build up a habit of environmental protection and maintain the activities to enhance environmental preservation. Moreover, the government is liable to set up different knowledge about environmental protection in the education curriculum. Through educating the next generation to be an ecology-concerned person, the mindset of sheltering the environment will be rooted in them. On the other hand, individuals should not solely rely on the government, but also be responsible for maintaining the health of the Earth. It is encouraged that every individual should receive and search for more information about the Earth and the consequences of excessive exploitation. Also it is critical that people should develop a sense of protecting the resources and perform their own roles and duty. To sum up, I deem that everyone who lives in the global village should take the responsibility to be the safeguard of the land we are living in, so as to achieve a more prosperous and blossom future in the next few decades.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
has been a hot debate in recent decades among various groups of organizations,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
and individuals. It is due to the excessive usage and over-exploitation of natural resources by humans. It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
argued that the responsibility of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
is to lay on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
, while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argued that everyone around the globe should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
take part
in it.
Personally
, after considering both sides of view, I admit that both sides are indispensable to achieve a better environment on Earth.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
off, I believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
plays a crucial role to guide citizens to develop a daily habit to protect the surroundings. By formulating legislative establishments,
for instance
, plastic bags usage restriction,
also
draw up a relative punishment, can
undoubtedly
create a deterrence effect towards to public. In the long run,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
living within the nation can build up a habit of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
and maintain the activities to enhance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
preservation.

Moreover
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is liable to set up
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
knowledge about
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
protection
in the education curriculum. Through educating the
next
generation to be an ecology-concerned person, the mindset of sheltering the environment will
be rooted
in them.

On the other hand
, individuals should not
solely
rely on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
be responsible for maintaining the health of the Earth. It
is encouraged
that every individual should receive and search for more information about the Earth and the consequences of excessive exploitation.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Also
it is critical that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should develop a sense of protecting the resources and perform their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
roles and duty.

To sum up, I deem that everyone who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in the global village should take the responsibility to be the safeguard of the land we are living in,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
achieve a more prosperous and blossom future in the
next
few decades.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people say that protecting the environment is the government’s responsibility. Others believe that every individual should be responsible for it. v. 10

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
303 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts