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Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvement. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvement. BN76
Rewards give strength to children's ingenious ideas so that they can reach any stage in life according to their abilities. A number of people argue that students who excel in exams should be honored; however, some have the view that students who improve themselves should be rewarded. In my opinion, both students both with very good performance and who strive for self-improvement should be honored. To begin with, rewards motivate children to move forward, so that they can work harder and bring better results. Every human being loves to be awarded, whether he is a student or not because it inspires them to do something better in life and strengthens their morale. If the school does not award the students for their achievements, it can lead to serious side effects such as discouragement. As a result, they may experience depression. Conversely, when schools appreciate children's performance and inspire them to think ahead, it is natural for them to be motivated to execute at a much higher level in life. Similarly, students who are a little weak in front of very capable children, make every effort to improve themselves, should also be given full encouragement and this will greatly increase their positive thinking, as a result of which they will be able to demonstrate their full potential in different types of tasks in their life. As a result, students will try their best to improve themselves in every way and this will inculcate positive thinking in them. In the end, rewards are given to the infants, regardless of whether he is very capable or a little weak, to enhance their overall skills, so as to increase their competency level, which will apparently help them in making wise decisions in difficult times. And it is important to always be respectful with applause.
Rewards give strength to children's ingenious
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can reach any stage in life according to their abilities. A number of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
argue that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
excel in exams should
be honored
;
however
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
have the view that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves should
be rewarded
. In my opinion, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
both with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
performance and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
strive for self-improvement should
be honored
.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, rewards motivate children to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
forward,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can work harder and bring better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
results
. Every human being
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loves
to
be awarded
, whether he is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
or not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it inspires them to do something better in life and strengthens their morale. If the school does not award the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their achievements, it can lead to serious side effects such as discouragement. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
, they may experience depression.
Conversely
, when schools appreciate children's performance and inspire them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
ahead, it is natural for them to
be motivated
to execute at a much higher level in life.

Similarly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
weak in front of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
capable children,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
every effort to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves, should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
full encouragement and this will
greatly
increase their
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thinking, as a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
of which they will be able to demonstrate their full potential in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
types of tasks in their life. As a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
result
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will try their best to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves in every way and this will inculcate
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
thinking in them.

In the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
end
, rewards are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to the infants, regardless of whether he is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
capable or a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
weak, to enhance their
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
'So as to' expresses purpose and is used in formal texts. Consider using "to"
so as to
increase their competency level, which will
apparently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in making wise decisions in difficult times. And it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to always be respectful with applause.
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IELTS essay Some people think that schools should reward students who show the best academic results, while others believe that it is more important to reward students who show improvement.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
300 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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