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some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged other believe children who are taught to co operative rather than compete become more useful adults

some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged other believe children who are taught to co operative rather than compete become more useful adults bXx6
today level of education is very high and very informative. in 21st century children are very smart and intelligent because they born in digital world and their parents are very serious about education and their career. and in this world two kind of people some people want to encourage their children for competition and some of people believe is co-operative is useful for better future growth. I believe both are useful thought of our society so first we will discuss how we can encourage children to competition. as we know that. we have so much talented children in our nation. so I believe competition can be a great source of motivation for children. and for encouraging children we can organize competition in their school. and it can be encourage children to work harder. because when these children leave school. their confidence will help them in real life competition
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
today
level of education is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
high and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
informative.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
in
21st century
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
smart and intelligent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they born in digital world and their parents are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious about education and their career.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
in this world two
Possible agreement error. The noun 'kind' seems to be countable, so consider using: "kinds".
kind
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
want to encourage their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe is co-operative is useful for better future growth. I believe both are useful
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
of our
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
society


This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
so
first
we will discuss how we can encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
as
we know that.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
we
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much talented
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in our nation.
Use a comma before 'so' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
so
I believe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
can be a great source of motivation for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
for encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
we can organize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
competition
in their school.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
and
it can be
Consider using the past participle "encouraged"?
encourage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to work harder.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
because
when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
leave
school.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
their
confidence will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them in real life
Please add a punctuation mark at the end of paragraph
competition

IELTS essay some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged other believe children who are taught to co operative rather than compete become more useful adults

Essay
  American English
2 paragraphs
147 words
This writing has been penalized,
text can't be
less than 250 words in Task 2
and less than 150 words in Task 1
4.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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