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Some people argue that social networking site(e. g. Facebook)may have negative impacts on individuals and the society. To what extend do you agree or disagree? v.1

Some people argue that social networking site(e. g. Facebook)may have negative impacts on individuals and the society. v. 1
It true that at present, video conferences have grown at an exponential rate. While I accept that, virtual webinars can sometimes have a positive effect on the meetings, I believe that it is more likely to have a puzzle. On the one hand, it can be acknowledged that the merits of online video conferences are evident. The first possible impact, online video conferencing programs in business help reduce cost. The cost of an e-conferencing for organizing meeting rooms, printing documents, using electricity and water, … can range from a few million to tens of millions depending on the size of the organization. The money saved could be better spent on more important aspects such as marketing, which brings in more potential customers. Organizing online business meetings or webinars not only save money but also save time. Web conferences allow many participants from another place, country, … Attendants can directly see and exchange together, therefore, time which is very important for bosses and their companies is saved. However, I would argue that the hazard of video conferences far eclipse the aforementioned merit. First disadvantage, web meetings require a reliable internet connection. If the network connection was poor, it could result in disrupted communication and misunderstanding, which could cause any company great damage. For instance, an online meeting affected by an unreliable internet connection could put a company at risk of losing a major contract since its foreign partner failed to understand the message it wanted to deliver. The second drawback, setting up a high-quality web conference system is costly for small or even medium-sized companies. It also costs a great deal in maintenance and in solving any technical problems that can occur at any time. Finally is technical limitations that participants may have, which reduces the effectiveness of discussions or meetings. For example, the elderly may find it hard to understand and make use of the latest programs and software, or some participants can lose track of the progress of the meeting due to the slow internet connection or platform errors. In conclusion, I would say that the potential dangers of video conferences are more significant than the possible benefits.
It true that at present,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
have grown at an exponential rate. While I accept that, virtual webinars can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
, I believe that it is more likely to have a puzzle.

On the one hand, it can
be acknowledged
that the merits of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
are evident. The
first
possible impact,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
conferencing programs in business
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
cost. The cost of an e-conferencing for organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
rooms, printing documents, using electricity and water, … can range from a few million to tens of millions depending on the size of the organization.
Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
money saved could be better spent on more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspects such as marketing, which brings in more potential customers. Organizing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
business
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
or webinars not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
save money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
save time. Web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
participants from another place, country, … Attendants can
directly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
and exchange together,
therefore
, time which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for bosses and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is saved
.

However
, I would argue that the hazard of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
far eclipse the aforementioned merit.
First
disadvantage, web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
require a reliable internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
. If the network
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
was poor, it could result in disrupted communication and misunderstanding, which could cause any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
great damage.
For instance
, an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
affected
by an unreliable internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
could put a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
of losing a major contract since its foreign partner failed to understand the message it wanted to deliver. The second drawback, setting up a high-quality web
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conference
system is costly for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
small
or even medium-sized
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. It
also
costs a great deal in maintenance and in solving any technical problems that can occur at any time.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Finally
is technical limitations that participants may have, which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
the effectiveness of discussions or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meetings
.
For example
, the elderly may find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to understand and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of the latest programs and software, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
participants can lose
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
track
of the progress of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
meeting
due to the slow internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
connection
or platform errors.

In conclusion
, I would say that the potential
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
dangers
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
video
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
conferences
are more significant than the possible benefits.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people argue that social networking site(e. g. Facebook)may have negative impacts on individuals and the society. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
359 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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