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Some people think that schoolchildren should have maximum four lessons a day. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why? Give specific reasons to support your answer

Some people think that schoolchildren should have maximum four lessons a day. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why? Give specific reasons to support your answer jdgKM
I agree with the statement, that children do note have more, than four lessons a day. I will state my opinion and support it, with appropiety arguments. Firs thing is need to be said, is that school period is really important everyone’s life. It defines our interests and future plans, that is why school have to be a lovely place for pupils. From my point of view less hours children spend in a school, more active they are. Sitting and listening six and more subjects at school, make children feel tired and they cannot be productive for last subjects. Moreover do their homework for many subjects a day is really difficult for children. Many homeworks are reason why some children do not like going to the school. No many lessons, no many assingments! Adittionally, if children attend only four lesson’s, quallity of their concentration will be higher. They will study and understand more. Of course there will be some disadventiges of having least lessons at school. For example, in this case children will have more free time and it make parents job difficult, but if I were asked benefits easily outweigh any negative outcomes. For this, what has been discussed abouve, lets me draw a conclusion, that children do not need to have more, than four lessons a day. Of course others can take another atittude with this issue. Because of reasons, I have mentioned above, I can be surely state the opinion, that four lessons for a day is absolutely enough and make children’s productivity higher.
I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do note have more, than four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
a day.

I will state my opinion and support it, with
Possible spelling mistake found.
appropiety
arguments.

Firs thing
is need
to
be said
, is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
period is
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
everyone’s life. It defines our interests and future plans,
that is
why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
be a lovely place for pupils.

From my point of view
Did you mean "fewer hours"?
less hours
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
spend in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, more active they are. Sitting and listening six and more subjects at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
tired and
they cannot be productive for last subjects.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
do their homework for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
subjects a day is
really
difficult for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
Possible spelling mistake found.
homeworks
are reason why
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not like going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
No
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
,
Did you mean "now" (=at this moment) instead of 'no' (negation)?
no
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
Possible spelling mistake found.
assingments
!

Possible spelling mistake found.
Adittionally
, if
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
attend
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
four
Possible agreement error. The noun 'lesson' seems to be countable, so consider using: "lessons".
lesson
’s,
Possible spelling mistake found.
quallity
of their concentration will be higher. They will study and understand more.

Of course
there will be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
disadventiges
of having
A determiner is probably missing here: "the least".
least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
at
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
For example
,
in this case
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
will have more free time and it
Did you mean "makes"?
make
parents job difficult,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if I
were asked
benefits
easily
outweigh any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
outcomes.

For this, what has
been discussed
Possible spelling mistake found.
abouve
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lets
me draw a conclusion, that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not need to have more, than four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
a day.

Of course
others can take another
Possible spelling mistake found.
atittude
with this issue.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of reasons, I have mentioned above, I can be
surely
state the opinion, that four
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lessons
for a day is
absolutely
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
productivity higher.
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IELTS essay Some people think that schoolchildren should have maximum four lessons a day. Others disagree with this idea. Which idea do you agree with and why? Give specific reasons to support your answer

Essay
  American English
9 paragraphs
257 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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