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Some people think that school should be rewarded students who are the best in academic results other believe that it is more important to reward to those, who are showing improvements. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

Some people think that school should be rewarded students who are the best in academic results other believe that it is more important to reward to those, who are showing improvements. NWw2W
People are divided on the issue of rewarding students for their academic achievements. some people think that toppers should be rewarded by School authorities whereas those need to be rewarded who has brought more improvements than previous performance in result. however, I personally believe that both categories of students ought to be prized. On the one hand, it is imperative to acknowledge the efforts of toppers and motivate them by giving prizes for performing well. To explain it, exams are like a competition and there is a fact that a winner of a match gets an incentive whether it is money or award. This perhaps is the reputation not in school but also in society this head motivates to majority of peers to do more hard work to appear as a waste in this type of cut throat competition to achieve Zenith of success. Thus, in order to make them best competitor or winner, a specific award plays an integral role. On the other hand, the number of mediocre is more than those having higher IQ level. Even though they are progressing Better Day by Day in study, not receiving any kind of stimulation from school. thus, by awarding them as toppers can motivate students to do more efforts as well as that day is not for when one of them emerged as a best learner of Institution. Despite they are trying hardly and developing by passing time, not able to compete with the students but this is not right to neglect them. As a result, before achieving award of best student, improvement is the first step and for bringing them, it had better to give rewards to average students. Agglomerating all the view points, it can be conspicuous that although a first rank students have a right of recognition in school, for the sake of increasing productivity of average pupils, they also need to be rewarded as best ones, according to me.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
People
are divided
on the issue of rewarding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their academic achievements.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that toppers should
be rewarded
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
School
authorities whereas those need to
be rewarded
who has brought more improvements than previous performance in result.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
however
, I
personally
believe that both categories of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
ought to
be prized
.

On the one hand, it is imperative to acknowledge the efforts of toppers and motivate them by giving prizes for performing well. To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
explain
it, exams are like a competition and there is a fact that a winner of a match
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
an incentive whether it is money or award. This perhaps is the reputation not in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in society this head motivates to
It seems that an article is missing.
majority of
peers to do more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work to appear as a waste in this type of
'cut throat' seems to be a compound adjective in front of a noun. Use a hyphen: "cut-throat".
cut throat
competition to achieve Zenith of success.
Thus
, in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
competitor or winner, a specific award plays an integral role.

On the other hand
, the number of mediocre is more than those having higher IQ level.
Even though
they are progressing Better Day by Day in study, not receiving any kind of stimulation from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter
thus
, by awarding them as toppers can motivate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to do more efforts
as well
as that day is not for when one of them emerged as
Use "the" with the superlative.
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
learner of Institution. Despite they are trying hardly and developing by passing time, not able to compete with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
this is not right to neglect them.
As a result
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
achieving award of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
, improvement is the
first
step and for bringing them, it had better to give rewards to average students.

Agglomerating all the view points, it can be conspicuous that although a
first
rank
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "student"?
students
have a right of recognition in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
, for the sake of increasing productivity of average pupils, they
also
need to
be rewarded
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
best
ones, according to me.
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IELTS essay Some people think that school should be rewarded students who are the best in academic results other believe that it is more important to reward to those, who are showing improvements.

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
323 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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