Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

Some people think that punishment is essential in a child’s education, while others think rewards would be better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that punishment is essential in a child’s education, while others think rewards would be better. PR09g
The question of whether rewards work better than punishments often arises. Many believe that punishment produces the best results, whereas others feel reward based learning is more effective. I am of the belief that motivation through reward is better that motivation through fear. For centuries, many parents have considered corporal punishment as the most effective way of correcting their children when they neglect their studies and they have their own reasons to believe so. Most children have a propensity to engage in mischievous acts or spend too much time playing. For example, they may skip homework to play video games or they may bully their younger siblings or even classmates. In such situations, words of advice may fail to correct the child and they might need some punishment. However, the usefulness of this means relies on guardians’ authority which will decline gradually with the increment in their children’s age. Therefore, I believe that when children are rewarded for good work, it has a motivating effect which makes children want to replicate their success and receive another reward. This even motivates other children who are prone to misbehave in class to behave properly so that they can also receive the reward. When taught in an environment where hard work is praised, children feel confident to experiment with different ways of problem solving and thus develop important critical thinking skills, which are of great benefit to them later in life. In conclusion, while punishment is useful in improving children’s deeds, educators should offer praise and rewards for excellent performance and encouragement to those who still have room to improve.
Wordiness: Consider shortening this phrase.
The question of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
work better than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
arises.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
produces the best results, whereas others feel
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
based learning is more effective. I am of the belief that motivation through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
is better that motivation through fear.

For centuries,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
parents have considered corporal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
as the most effective way of correcting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
when they neglect their
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
studies and
they have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
reasons to believe
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
. Most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
have a propensity to engage in mischievous acts or spend too much time playing.
For example
, they may skip homework to play video
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
games or
they may bully their younger siblings or even classmates. In such situations, words of advice may fail to correct the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
child and
they might need
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
punishment.

However
, the usefulness of this means relies on guardians’ authority which will decline
gradually
with the increment in their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
age.
Therefore
, I believe that when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
are rewarded
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
work, it has a motivating effect which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
want to replicate their success and receive another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
. This even motivates other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who are prone to misbehave in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
to behave
properly
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they can
also
receive the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reward
. When taught in an environment where
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
work
is praised
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
feel confident to experiment with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of problem solving and
thus
develop
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
critical thinking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, which are of great benefit to them later in life.
In conclusion
, while
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
punishment
is useful in improving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
deeds, educators should offer praise and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
rewards
for excellent performance and encouragement to those who
still
have room to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
.
What do you think?
  • This is funny writingFunny
  • I love this writingLove
  • This writing has blown my mindWow
  • It made me angryAngry
  • It made me sadSad

IELTS essay Some people think that punishment is essential in a child’s education, while others think rewards would be better.

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
267 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Recent posts
  • 5band
    The given plans depict how the site of an airport shifts from now to the redevelopment next ye
    The given plans depict how the site of an airport shifts from now to the redevelopment next year. Overall, there will have been some major changes regarding the facilities being added, relocation, replacement. As can be seen clearly from these photos that soon, the airport will be adding more gate...
  • 6band
    Conflicting views as to whether or not getting responsibility for international sport is useful for the local country. This essay will
    It is a debated topic about sport events having exceeded in various countries in each subsequent period. Conflicting views as to whether or not getting responsibility for international sport is useful for the local country. This essay will discuss both these views in support of being beneficial for ...
  • 6.5band
    examination is useful for student. Do you agree to disagree with this idea
    Evaluation methods of a student’s performance have always been an area of contention around the world. While individuals believe that this can be done by continual assessment of their assignments and project work, others are in favor of formal examination. Personally, I disagree with this idea and i...
  • 5band
    how is English important?
    Most people want to learn English for many reasons. Firstly, English is the most widespread language in the world, with 1. 5 billion speakers. There are 59 sovereign states and 20 non-sovereign entities that have recognized English as an official language. Secondly, English gives us an attractive em...
  • 6.5band
    1. Studying abroad is the best way to learn foreign languages.
    It is believed that studying overseas is the most advantageous option to be immersed in other languages. To a certain extent, I reckon that there are other methods for humans to master other accents. Learning furthered languages is more effective in native countries. When learners reside in an envi...
  • 6band
    exams are not useful. do you agree or disagree
    From past to present, exams are often organized during courses and they are considered as a form to assess learners’ abilities. But, is it really necessary to hold these exams? As a result, nowadays some people argue that exams are not useful. I completely disagree with this idea and in this essay I...





Get more results for topic:
  • Some people think that punishment is essential in a child’s education, while others think rewards would be better. Discuss both views and give your opinion.